Making the Grade

I missed church this morning, which only confirms my belief that if I signed up to serve somewhere, I would be more likely to attend. Yes, I know there is grace and it isn't about sweating, it's just my attitude has changed. I actually want to be there.

For a very long time, I've been on a conditional basis with God, reasoning that if I do good things for God, then He will only let good things happen in my life. If I check off these boxes, read my Bible, pray, go to church, etc., then I am a good Christian. Unfortunately, sometimes I can't do some of those things. Does that mean God can no longer be good, because I've been bad? It's a very manipulative outlook, thinking that I have to find a way to be in good favor with my Heavenly Father. This is similar to a small child trying to save up his allowance in order to payback his father for all the household bills. That's an impossible situation. The child's "income" is only coming from the father. How will he ever have enough? He doesn't have to, because his father loves him, and that takes away any debt the child may have.

I'm sure we've all heard about the message of grace a thousand times. I know that I have. It's only been in the past few weeks that I've started giving up my control over how I think things should be and started finding the faith to believe that Jesus "will never leave...nor forsake..." me.

I have been looking for work, but I'm thinking of going back to school again. I've been toying with the idea of becoming a teacher. It would require at least a bachelor's degree, money, and a lifetime supply of patience. Although my first degree was very difficult for me, I remember how God helped me find what I needed, when I needed it. In the meantime, I am more then just adding sentiment when I say that I'm praying, asking God for wisdom, faith, and endurance.

Wisdom to choose to walk with God, instead of against Him, and allow His will to supercede my own. Faith to truly believe that He will be there for me, even when skies look grey. I truly believe that the sky is still blue, even when clouds are grey. Yes, I know that sounds like "silver lining" talk, but I'm a hopeless idealist and I have to remember that the truth is still there, even if it doesn't feel like it's so. Endurance. That's a word I know so well that I have memorized the definition. "the ability to withstand great difficulty or pain." The Bible says, "...you have need of endurance." I believe it's in Hebrews, but I could be wrong. It's hard for me to be patient with myself. There were a lot of things I could do before the "new normal". I've learned to adjust, and tried to look at the positive side of the position I'm now in. I still have need of endurance, and need to remember the man who went through whipping, beating, jeers, and an unjust execution by crucifixion. That man lives in my heart. He has what it takes. If I have truly decided to follow Jesus, then I will bravely walk in His footsteps, confronting the very things that frighten me the most. If my walk does not look something like His, then can I really call myself a Christian?

So, how dramatic can being a teacher really be? I know a handful of teachers, but they can tell you what it's like. There is a great need for good educators, yet there is still further need to change the system of education in America. I watched two films recently that really caused me to reflect on the state of things here in what Abraham Lincoln called "The last best hope of the earth". "Waiting for Superman" is a very interesting movie about how education has been, and one way for it to change. Depending on how you think politically, you may or may not like this one. It is eye opening, and the ending really causes one to think. Another movie I watched recently that is very good is "Wallbuilders; America's Godly Heritage". This film hosted by reknown American Historian David Barton, will shock you, if you don't know your American history, as most of us don't. This is quite possibly the most logical man in the United States, as he shows how schools fell into moral and academic disrepair without the longheld tradition of using the ten commandments, and the Bible, as the founders did in the education of children in America. This obviously has serious ramifications politically, however when looking at the historical data presented I think even those without religious views would find some things to agree on.

Well, it's been awhile since I blogged, and I think this is enough for two months worth. Things are changing, and for once, rather then trying to figure out everything on my own, I'm raising my hand, asking for help. Jesus is so much more then just a good teacher. :)