Mid Terms

In the words of "Inigo Montoya" from The Princess Bride,

"Let me tell you what happened. No, there is too much.  Let me sum' up for you."

It has been an incredible semester.  Where has the time gone?  It's just flown by.

Met amazing instructors. Used awesome video equipment.  Found new friends with similar interest and passion in film .  But my favorite part, is being able to use a macbook pro loaded with goodies like "Final Draft" and "Avid".

To get an idea of what homework assignments are like, this week I have to finish;
writing a screenplay for "Bridge to Brooklyn" an adaptation of a "Short Story" by William Goldman, filming a stop motion countdown video, conducting an interview for my short film documentary,  reading Shakespeare's "Othello", and creating a character to act out in class, etc.

There's other pressures as well, like the urgency of saving up money for a camera for my own personal use, the insistence of taking opportunities to network with others, the constant need to stay informed by reading periodicals on current trends in the industry, and, of course, the endurance to keep a cool head while working with others.

However, as with any job, there are perks.  While volunteering for the "Lonestar Film Festival" I got to be an usher on opening night, and shook Billy Bob Thorton's hand.  At another event, I got to listen and hang out with Doug Richardson, a veteran screenplay writer and author.

 Check out his website here: http://dougrichardson.com/likes/

You'll find that Doug actually responded to what I wrote on his site, and has seen my very amateur blog (gulp).  Hopefully, I'll get things spruced up around here during Winter break and will start writing every week, or so.

Have a wonderful holiday season!

 
 

 

Day One

Tomorrow I start a new degree in "Motion Picture Production" at K.D. College, not too far from downtown Dallas.  Some people may or may not approve, but I believe this is the direction I need to take in my life, whether it's a glorious failure, or not.  I've spent time talking with others, praying, and thinking it through.  This is the decision I've made, and I can't take it back...nor would I want to.   

During my interview for the school, I was asked what position I thought I might like (assistant director, grip, editing, lighting, etc.).  I said that I'd like to be a screenwriter, but that I'm open to other positions as well.

I am cautiously optimistic.  I've learned to know what my limits are, but I won't be defined by them.  A few years ago, I thought all my adventures where over.  It seems as though, they've only just begun.

I may not write as often as I'd like; but, I will try to post at least once a month.
I beg for as many kind words and encouraging thoughts as you can spare.  

With all my heart, thank you.

Current Affairs

A lot of things have been changing for me.  I just recently got accepted at a local university, which took some doing, but I think is well worth it.  I'm thinking of re-entering the workforce, but trying to find something more suitable for me.  I recently came across a great free e-book, that John Piper had published, and I haven't had the chance to finish reading yet called "Disability and the Sovereign Grace of God".  John Piper said that he put this publication together to help pastors with their congregations, but I took interest in it for personal reasons.  In other news, I've recently been taking an online placement test to find out how much Math this degree in Computer Science would really require.  Half of me feels like I'm punishing myself, since this is not my favorite subject.  The other half reasons that I've been avoiding this for some time, and it was going to catch up with me, sooner, or later. Besides that, I don't lack the intelligence, or the will to learn things that are difficult, or don't come natural to me.

  "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." I Corinthians 13:11

  It wasn't until I was an adult, in college, that I faced my fears, and lack of confidence that I recieved from a bad teacher in grade school.  As a kid, I never really understood why I had to go to this institution called school, were I would be made fun of, and couldn't seem to grasp the concept of fractions.  Why was any of this important?  During that time, either a teacher read the book, or my parents let me watch the cartoon called "The Phantom Tollbooth".  This book helped me unpack why learning is important. Later on, in my last semester at college, with Math Finals looming, I re-read the book in a few days. I wish I could say that I passed that last test, but I didn't.  I had to go back, and finish the C.L.E.P. to fulfill the requirement for Mathematics in my degree.

  Why am I talking about any of this?  Good question.  It is here in the present where I am making choices to think, and act differently, that I have to continue going through the mineshaft of numbers.  The campus I"m admitted to, actually has statues of the men, who were responsible for creating "Texas Instruments" a well known company for those calculators most of us either relish, or cringe to think of.  If any school can help me love a subject that I've always hated, this one probably has the greatest chance. 

  I know a lot of what happens next, is entirely up to me.  Whether to pull out another loan or not.  So far, I've elected "not".  Really think through the options, and make sure that I'm sure that Computer Science will be a good choice for me.  Having gone so far with creativity, I feel like I'm limiting myself if I don't know the language of numbers and symbols. To my credit, I haven't forgotten everything.  "Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally= Parantheses, Exponents, Muliplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction","rise over run", and "F.O.I.L." to name a few.  Memorization has always come easy to me, but remember how to locate things, and how some of those aforementioned formulas work is a little challenging.  I agree with one of my brothers, "if you don't use it, you lose it."  In any case, using the analogy of life from the "Phantom Tollbooth", I feel like I am in "Digitapolis".  I mean if you think about it, "Dallas", and "Digitapolis" both rhyme, start with same letter, and end with the same letter.  I know they're not the same thing.  Just saying.  If you wanna hear something even cornier then that, I live in "Addison", where people just keep coming.  Just kidding. 

  "...but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

   Its time for me to put childhood fears behind me.   "The Phantom Tollbooth" is just a kid's book.  The Bible is actually the Word of God, and worth having more of my trust in, then a simple children's story. I love the phrase that I see emblazened as a mission statement for the school that I hope to enter into "Fearless Engineering".  I like that. I respect it. There really was a time when I wasn't afraid of anything, and would be willing to go out and do something great for God.  These days are different. God is giving me the courage to do something I'm afraid of, and it's really not that big.

  "Time is a gift, precious and rare, and take it and make of it all you can, use all..
    Eyes are a gift, given to you, given to give you the world to see, the world...
    Life is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need...
    There's no hope too high, Milo."- "The Phantom Tollbooth" MGM Studios

  It would be a shame to not love God with all my mind, by not allowing Him to recieve glory even in trivial things like calculations and, as my friend Brian says, interpellations.

Birthday blogging

Well, it's a new month, with new things to do.  I've just started some volunteering in Plano which is fun, and feels good to be more concerned about others then myself.  I'm going to be involved with the Recovery ministry at my church this fall, which is really going to be exciting.  I haven't given up the search for work, and I've been fortunate to find some help in narrowing things down in that regard with some vocational testing.  Also, I caught wind from one of the pastor's at my church, about online theology courses for free.  Normally, when something is free, it usually doesn't have much value these days.  That's not the case with these classes.  They're actually run by professors who are just as good as any seminary out there. The only downside is not having any direct social interaction, like there would be on a college campus.  If you'd like to check it out click here;  http://christiancourses.com/   I recently signed up for the course entitled "Ten Reasons Why God Allows Sufferring".  Very very good material.  I haven't even dived into it yet, but I look forward to the challenge!  Also, I am writing songs, and even working on an abstract drawing that will look something like a mural on my wall, when I'm done.  This is just something fun to do to occupy my time.  I wish I would've known how difficult it would be to use colored pencils on paper with a rough drywall underneath.  Oh, well.

  Today is my 31st birthday!  According to one person, I can be called a p.o.t.a.t.o., which means "Person Over Thirty Acting Twenty One".  I have a mystery present in the mail coming from my sister Evie, and later this evening I will get to celebrate with my Life Group.  I'm excited because one girl who's doing the teaching can be incredibly goofy, and the other girl who's volunteered to do snacks, makes really good desserts.  Although I had to get my own donuts and chocolate milk this morning, I am an adult, and I don't really need my parents to do things for me.  In fact, it's seems like the tables have been turned.  I wind up doing a lot for them these days! :)

  Also, prayerfully considering going back to school earning a four year degree, and if God provides, maybe going to seminary for a Master's degree in Theology.

   Who knows what God will do with a heart that says "Will do." ?

Lately

I've really enjoyed a few films that I've seen lately. I watched "The Avengers" with my Dad, which I thought was very entertaining. I also liked it because it made me think of the power of community, being able to take care of problems that no individual on his own could face. I think it's worth seeing twice myself. I also saw a movie called "We Bought a Zoo." I did watch this film twice. It's a very good story, and is based on a true one. If you're not in the mood for crying, I don't recommend it though. It's definitely a dramedy (drama and comedy). I picked up a couple of great cds. There's a band called "For King and Country" with the album called "Crave". Yes, they are both brothers with extremely high voices, but the lyrics are outstanding. "Love is sacrifice...", "I know that you're afraid, but people change...and I can change...", and "Hope is what we crave and that will never change." The other artist is Matt Kearney with "Young Love". It's never really donned on me that most Christian artists usually don't talk about relationships as openly as other secular ones do. But both these artists boldy go where few dare to tread. I've always respected people with a lot of heart, and these guys aren't scared to show it. I'm so grateful to God for where I am these days, and the courage that's slowly building inside of me. If it were not for so many different forms of encouragement; solid church, a good job, etc., I don't know where I'd be today. Take care, and God bless you.

The Great Books

Before I begin, I would like to wish everyone a happy belated Easter, a.k.a. "He is Risen." The thought actually crossed my mind to make a chocholate cross and fill it with cherry, so that people would remember the sweet sacrifice of Jesus. But then I remembered how expensive religious products are, and decided to just leave it here on my blog instead. I always appreciate feedback, so feel free to respond.

About a month ago, my brother told me about a form of education that some homeschoolers are learning, and seems to be a pretty big hit with the Christian community. This is called "Classical Education" which is absolutely fascinating.

If interested, feel free to wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_education

After doing a little studying, I really liked what I read about this teaching method that's been lost. Although I was glad to find a nearby college, where I could take classes, I realised that I had "zeal without knowledge" and put student ministry above my studies when I was at St. Petersburg College. I would have to be an honor student, in order to even think about majoring in "The Great Books" or even studying under professors who know them well. They will not accept anyone below a 4.0 G.P.A. Oh, well, live and learn. I decided I would take the "Good Will Hunting" route, and read all the same books on my own from the library.

I found a book called "The Well Trained Mind", and that's when I struck gold. Within its pages, I found a list of "The Great Books". It's a master list, orginally intended for students to study at various ages and lengths in grade, middle, and high school. Of course, most students would not want to tackle this mountain of knowledge. I'm not sure why I want to myself. I guess, it's nice to have a goal.

I really hope I"m not coming across as arrogant or stuck up. I just think it would be wonderful to really know who Alfred Lord Tennyson was, more about William Shakespeare, and also perhaps a different glance at the Bible. It is the first book listed on, chuckle, The Great List, of the Great Books. Somebody must've gone to "great" pains to get that list together. Who knows, maybe my great great grandfather was studying the same materials? Just kidding. :)

In any case, as much as I would enjoy a return to college, it looks like I'm going to hold down the job I have as a valet for a while. I really enjoy meeting people, helping them get where they need to go, and getting a chance to safely drive some very nice vehicles.

I'm also getting a lot from this study through Galatians my church is going through. I believe it is a place where grace and truth are equally presented. Click here, if you'd like to study along: www.benttree.org Look for the manuscript study, a.k.a. "Dance Lessons".
I love how they use visuals as teaching devices. They literally had a cage to represent the prison of sin, and chains that people could pick up and feel the weight of. Easter weekend was about "Freedom". Although I didn't make it to service, and missed an opportunity to serve, at least I'm willing to both attend, and serve again. I am usually a regular at small groups, and am often there on Sunday morning.

I think God is doing a different type of work these days in my life. There are things internally that need to be gotten rid of. Replacements, repairs,...redemption and recovery, if you will. I'm definitely a piece of work, but God thinks I'm worth it. I have to pass the following cause it's too good to keep to myself. People value things based on what their worth. What was the blood of God's only Son worth to Him? It was priceless. How much worth does God place on us then? He considers us priceless, worth going to any means to obtain. Isn't that wonderful? God is so good to us. Oh, yeah one more thing. I was doing a study and reading John 1, and the study led me to read Genesis 1. The same Jesus that made everything, saw how sin had torn everything down, is the same Jesus who's still around. He is able to make everyone whole, because he made everyone anyway. Is there anything too difficult for God? Nothing.

Wide Open

That's where I want to be. Wide open to serve God how He wants me to.

"Surrender don't come natural to me, I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want, then to take what You give that I need..."
- Rich Mullins from "Hold me Jesus".

I need forgiveness. I need love. I need light. I need Jesus.

Unfortunately, I've had to find out the second line from the same song as well.

"...And I've beat my head against so many walls, that I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees."

When I choose to disregard God, and do what I think is logical, there's a good chance I will be beating my head against a brick wall. This is not an argument against logic, but against willful disobedience (not acknowledging Him in all my ways). I could give a few examples. Moving to Texas for instance was something I chose to do logically, I really didn't pray, or seek the Lord on it. Good thing, God is gracious and sovereign, huh?

The only good thing about doing this moronic process is the part where I am physically exhausted from trying to do everything on my own. That's where I surrender to God and pray for His will in my life, instead of battling Him with my own. I've mentioned it several times, but I think now I know without a shadow of a doubt, that I don't need to be anywhere near movies and the entertainment industry. For me, there's too great of a temptation to exalt myself, and forget about God.

These days I'm trying to think small, not big. I plan on serving at my church as a greeter, unless the Lord shows me otherwise. I enjoy encouraging people and committing to serve might help me stay consistent with attending on Sunday mornings. I know neither make me holy, only the blood of Jesus does that, but they are both things I want to do.

Please pray for me. Thanks. :)

Making the Grade

I missed church this morning, which only confirms my belief that if I signed up to serve somewhere, I would be more likely to attend. Yes, I know there is grace and it isn't about sweating, it's just my attitude has changed. I actually want to be there.

For a very long time, I've been on a conditional basis with God, reasoning that if I do good things for God, then He will only let good things happen in my life. If I check off these boxes, read my Bible, pray, go to church, etc., then I am a good Christian. Unfortunately, sometimes I can't do some of those things. Does that mean God can no longer be good, because I've been bad? It's a very manipulative outlook, thinking that I have to find a way to be in good favor with my Heavenly Father. This is similar to a small child trying to save up his allowance in order to payback his father for all the household bills. That's an impossible situation. The child's "income" is only coming from the father. How will he ever have enough? He doesn't have to, because his father loves him, and that takes away any debt the child may have.

I'm sure we've all heard about the message of grace a thousand times. I know that I have. It's only been in the past few weeks that I've started giving up my control over how I think things should be and started finding the faith to believe that Jesus "will never leave...nor forsake..." me.

I have been looking for work, but I'm thinking of going back to school again. I've been toying with the idea of becoming a teacher. It would require at least a bachelor's degree, money, and a lifetime supply of patience. Although my first degree was very difficult for me, I remember how God helped me find what I needed, when I needed it. In the meantime, I am more then just adding sentiment when I say that I'm praying, asking God for wisdom, faith, and endurance.

Wisdom to choose to walk with God, instead of against Him, and allow His will to supercede my own. Faith to truly believe that He will be there for me, even when skies look grey. I truly believe that the sky is still blue, even when clouds are grey. Yes, I know that sounds like "silver lining" talk, but I'm a hopeless idealist and I have to remember that the truth is still there, even if it doesn't feel like it's so. Endurance. That's a word I know so well that I have memorized the definition. "the ability to withstand great difficulty or pain." The Bible says, "...you have need of endurance." I believe it's in Hebrews, but I could be wrong. It's hard for me to be patient with myself. There were a lot of things I could do before the "new normal". I've learned to adjust, and tried to look at the positive side of the position I'm now in. I still have need of endurance, and need to remember the man who went through whipping, beating, jeers, and an unjust execution by crucifixion. That man lives in my heart. He has what it takes. If I have truly decided to follow Jesus, then I will bravely walk in His footsteps, confronting the very things that frighten me the most. If my walk does not look something like His, then can I really call myself a Christian?

So, how dramatic can being a teacher really be? I know a handful of teachers, but they can tell you what it's like. There is a great need for good educators, yet there is still further need to change the system of education in America. I watched two films recently that really caused me to reflect on the state of things here in what Abraham Lincoln called "The last best hope of the earth". "Waiting for Superman" is a very interesting movie about how education has been, and one way for it to change. Depending on how you think politically, you may or may not like this one. It is eye opening, and the ending really causes one to think. Another movie I watched recently that is very good is "Wallbuilders; America's Godly Heritage". This film hosted by reknown American Historian David Barton, will shock you, if you don't know your American history, as most of us don't. This is quite possibly the most logical man in the United States, as he shows how schools fell into moral and academic disrepair without the longheld tradition of using the ten commandments, and the Bible, as the founders did in the education of children in America. This obviously has serious ramifications politically, however when looking at the historical data presented I think even those without religious views would find some things to agree on.

Well, it's been awhile since I blogged, and I think this is enough for two months worth. Things are changing, and for once, rather then trying to figure out everything on my own, I'm raising my hand, asking for help. Jesus is so much more then just a good teacher. :)