Perspective

In the book, "The Phantom Tollbooth", Milo uses a periscope to see the scary demon yelling at him is actually much smaller than he says he is. This changes everything in the story. As the protagonist, Milo is no longer stuck, he can overcome his enemy and move on toward his goal.

I know that it seems like such a foolish thing to like a book so much, but I really do enjoy this one. I see so many parallels in it. I wish I could list all of them here, but it would take too long.

Put yourself in Milo's shoes. It was frightening to hear someone spouting lies to him. He slowly looks for the periscope someone gave him, and then he's able to see everything clearly again.

In the past few years, I've had several lies screamed at me, but at the same time I have tools that we're given to me. As I've started using them, I've been able to size up my enemy, and it's completely changed the game.

What were the tools? It's more than just reading the Bible. I needed the Living Word of God, whose name is exalted above every other name, to breathe life into the text. I thought about how I take that phrase for granted, "name above all other names". That's like saying the "Authority above all other authorities". So, as the Spirit of God has brought enlightenment, I've been able to see again. I think the prayers of many, and the counsel of the same, was also very helpful. Now, I'm able to see what holds me back, and what my real mission is. The real mission is to make disciples of all nations, preaching and teaching them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I'm not a salesman trying to earn a "Great Commission", but I am a child of God who can be used to teach others about Christ.

In the book mentioned earlier, Milo is lost in a world clouded by confusion and terrorized by ignorance. Sound familiar? It doesn't end that way though. Rhyme and Reason will reign once more, and restore the former glory of the Kingdom of Wisdom. This is similar to Christ's return.

"This is my Father's World" was playing on my ipod while I wrote this earlier and I started crying. It's so comforting to know the promise that GOD is in control even in the midst of such turmoil and suffering in this life. We are still His children, and everything will go according to His plans, not ours.

Faith

I've been reading a book by Francis Chan called "Crazy Love" and a sentence just really nailed me today from chapter 7. "What are you doing right now that requires faith?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that signing up for a film school nearby was not an act of faith, but reason. I reasoned to myself that surely this place with these professional teachers, and good connections could land me a job in the local entertainment industry. There's only one problem with this. Is this what God's calling me to? Or is this what I"m calling me to? I believe it's the latter.

For some reason, I just felt that I had to complete a screenplay for the children's book, "The Phantom Tollbooth". Unfortunately, Warner Bros. started working on a modern version last February, and should have the movie finished by 2013. I had so much of myself wrapped up in that story, that I thought I just had to complete it, somehow.

I've been reading about screenwriting, and it's not for the faint of heart. It's really hard. Also, the entertainment industry, even behind the scenes, is a very demanding environment. I just don't think it's for me. There are some things that are more fun to daydream about, then to actually do.

Also, there's a lot of presumption on my part. I presume that someone actually needs my advice on the music, artwork, locations, casting,etc.,

So, what happens now? I don't know. I fill out applications for employment, meet people at church and community events, and do menial housework. I get to spend time with my parents without having to fight other siblings for attention. I get to spend time with the Lord in His Word, and just enjoy worshiping Him with my guitar. When the cold weather goes away, the pool will look mighty inviting for swimming, and the jacuzzi would be nice to loosen up sore muscles in my neck.

The minute I decided to just forget the whole film thing, I felt such a wonderful peace.

AMTC Audition

Last night's audition was interesting. We were at a really nice hotel called "Westin Inn" and watched a video, followed by a presentation. I don't think the ball got rolling with auditions until around eight o' clock. I was the last audition for the entire night. The reason is that I didn't bring my application that I filled out online, so they gave me a number that was longer. The other problem is that there were several people who were all singers. However, there were only two singer songwriters, me included.

I did one of the songs I wrote called "Christ will shine". Unfortunately, my voice was off key when I came in, but I corrected it, and kept the train moving so to speak. I was asked to perform another one of my songs. I did a song I wrote based off of "Psalm 133" a.k.a. "Running down" song. The two guys who were doing a pre-scouting were scribbling things on their papers, and then I was asked how long I had been playing? And I responded with, since I was 19. So, I guess about ten years. They told me to keep playing. Then, I did a goofy monologue, that at least got them to smile, if nothing else.

So, all in all, I got to learn about a company that is very serious about reaching people with the Gospel through the media (www.amtcworld.com), met some very talented interesting people, and was able to give and recieve encouragement to others. I had a few people ask me how old I was. I told them twenty nine, and they didn't believe me. You look like you could be twenty three. That was really cool.

So, if I get a callback, which I doubt if I will, it should happen before 4pm today. Even if that happens, there's still a lot that God would have to provide for me to be a part of the program. I'm actually really okay with just something simpler. I just wanted to meet some people, and see what this business was all about. So, check it out if you're one of those talented people. Jesus could use a couple of missionaries to help shine in the entertainment industry.

Two comments last night that really stick with me, is our speaker, who said that the entertainment industry is a mission field, and was from south Africa. He said that the entertainment industry is a bigger mission field than anything else. It was definitely a bold statement, and a very interesting one. The other comment came from my Mom, as we were eating McDonalds after starving all night long. "The thing I like about you Jesse, is that you're not a performer. You just like to worship Jesus."

So, it was a good night. Definitely better than staying at home to watch another episode of "The Waltons" and wonder to myself what would've happened had I gone. Now, I go back to looking for work, and cleaning bathrooms. That's life.

Activities

I've been trying to make new friends where I live. I got invited to a few Christmas parties, and met a guy who has some of the same interests I do...writing, acting, music, etc. He was telling me this thing about www.amtcworld.com which stands for "actors, models, and talent for Christ". It looks really cool. I signed up online, and their is an audition a week from today that I'm doing for singer songwriter. It's about 30 seconds, and then I find out whether I make the cut for their program. The program costs anywhere from $1,200 to $2000, but it supposed to help you land an agent. I'm just doing it for fun, to meet people, and see what they have to say about making a positive difference in the media. I got a book for Christmas on Screenwriting. I really have to take a grain of salt with it. Some things I really like, others I endure, and still other things I disagree completely with. It's been good to give me some guidelines, fresh ideas, and constructive criticism.

Well, enough of the fun stuff. I'm also looking for work. There's quite a few employers looking for part time help. Once I have a job, I'm thinking of going down two avenues. There's a medical job which would ensure job security in a very bad economy, and I would do the creative stuff on the side, or I could get my stuff together and go to a local film school, so that I can finally get that movie idea I have into reality, or at least find lucrative work doing what I like to do. No job is ever easy, and work is not supposed to be pleasurable all the time. I'm just trying to do the best I can with what I have. I'm knocking on all the doors, until somebody either opens one, or I build a door and open it myself.

Keep praying

Before I say anything, let me just ask that people would continue praying for my nephew Josh, who has leukemia, and is having another biopsy in his lungs apparently. He's had a fever for the last few weeks, been hospitalized, and the doctors have not found what's causing this.

A blank page can be the scariest thing a writer can look at. All it does is stare back and wonder whether you'll take the time to put something on the line. We thank God for the material blessings He's given us, as well as all the spiritual blessings. It was great having Evelyn, and Joey here in Texas for the holidays. Thanks to technology we were also able to skype my older brother Andy recently, and at least talk to my brother Ben over the phone. I can't imagine what it must be like for some families to spend Christmas at the hospital. Please continue to pray for my brother Ben and his family.