While going down the roads leading to Texas, I thought about all the places I've lived. Largo, Birmingham, Tallahassee, Dunedin, etc. I think about my childhood, teens, early twenties, college days, and now post graduation. In a sense, I felt like I was moving past all those things, and going back down to zero again.
"...I have been erased, like a canvas washed, by the strokes of grace..."
- "Obsession" by Starfield
I'm going back to my roots. I was born in Mckinney, Texas. It's only about 30 minutes away from where I live right now in Addison. The clinic where they delivered me as a baby is apparently gone. All that's there now is a field of grass. I can't wait to walk through it. Maybe I'll say a prayer, or whip out my guitar and just write a song off the top of my head. I could just quietly walk with my ipod and think to myself.
In the truck, we had some really good conversations. I told Dad about some of my adventures, why I liked a certain secular album, and the pressure that I've felt all my life to be a walking miracle. Although I am living proof that God works in mysterious ways, that doesn't mean that I can walk on water, or raise people from the dead. Only Jesus can do that stuff. I really didn't have much choice in being born to a set of parents who decided to have a vasectomy (advertizing still says it's 99.9% proven to prevent pregnancy).
Dad had some concerns about my future plans, and whether my outlook was still anti-materialism. I told him that my last trip to Canada really helped me clear up things. Unfortunately, seeing the poverty in a small house in Mexico City, and listening to a young man fresh from Africa describe the lack of food and medical supplies in his village, are things that will echo in my ears for the rest of my life. I can't ignore the crys of the poor. Still, following Jesus will always be more important than anything else, even helping the poor.
Later on, we had dinner next to our hotel, when finally arrived in Marshall, Tx. My dad didn't know it, but a full belly wasn't the only reason I couldn't finish a third plate at Golden Coral. All I could do was stare at all the people just endlessly eating. Should they feel bad for consuming to their heart's content? I don't know. It's difficult to explain. On the one hand, God has grace, but on the other hand, that leave's us with no excuse. I think there's a verse in the psalms that talks about not wanting wealth, or poverty, but just daily bread. Just enough to live on and be content with. Generally speaking, I don't think Americans realize how blessed they are materially, and how bankrupt they are spiritually. If things don't change the way they're headed now, then perhaps the tables will turn. I really hope it doesn't happen that way though!
I believe that the previous election showed that the American people care about society and the poor. There is a growing movement of young people from a Christian base who are devoted to this cause. However, this past election clearly states that Americans have realized that the governement can't eliminate poverty. Jesus said very clearly, "The poor you always have with you. But you won't always have me with you." Like I said earlier, it's about follwing Jesus, it's the most important thing.
Just like other people my age, all I want to do is work and live. We'll see if that's what God wants to do. Now, that I've written all that I wanted to say, I'm going to bed. Peace out.
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