Overdue

Okay, I know. I know. I'm way overdue for an update for friends, family, and myself included. Believe it or not, this is actually highly therapeutic for me to share my thoughts in text. I've had more awesome things happen to me in the last two weeks than has ever happened before. Right now, I'm trying to contain the excitement of working on a worship album (for real, with real sound equipment and incredibly talented people), a short documentary called "What is God doing in Perth?", and also something else that is really good...however, the Gospel is a mystery, and I'm going to leave you in suspense for awhile. Trust me, that it's something very very good.

A few weeks ago, it was my birthday weekend, and I could think of nothing more fun than visiting my brother in Ottawa, and attending his church the next day. I was overwhelmed by the hospitality and generosity that my brother showed, and then even more blown away by the service the next day. The teaching was on Galatians 3 entitled "Come Back to Simple Faith in Jesus" and it was just phenomenal to be reminded of a life based on grace, not human behavior or experience. The worship afterwards was knock your socks off great, and the love of God seemed to be very tangible in that place.


You can find the message here (www.calvaryfellowship.ca). Just click on subscribe to podcast, and then load itunes, if you need to.

After service, I felt led to ask for emotional healing. God has done an amazing work on my heart in the last few weeks. I feel more alive than I have in years. It's taken me awhile to find where I ditched my heart. I left it in Canada, the day that a young girl in FL told me the truth, and gently broke my heart. She did not have the same feelings for me, that I had for her. I've never cried as much as when I recieved that email, and vowed that I would never again encounter that much emotional turmoil. So, I turned off. I took whatever was my heart, threw it in a deep freezer of fear, poured on some heavy weights off ignorance, and then made sure that an ivory tower of knowledge would protect it day and night. I became a machine. A living breathing brain with no heart whatsoever. Looking back, I can see how incredibly foolish this was. I've learned some very key things while being in discipleship.

1. If you're going to follow Jesus, you're going to suffer pain.

"If anyone wants to follow me, let him first deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me."
-Jesus

"Anyone that desires to live godly after Christ Jesus will suffer persecution."
-Apostle Paul

In the Bible, Jesus is described as a man acquainted with sufferring. I doubt if we could relate to God, if He had no clue what it was like to be human. I know I lived in fear of going either too high, or too low with my emotions. I would usually stay low, or in the mid section. Right now, I am flying high, but trying to come back down to the middle from time to time. Others are helping me see when I'm not being myself, and also making sure that my priorities are in order.

2. It does not all depend on you. Jesus bore the weight of the world on His shoulders. You don't have to.

The very first sin in the garden of Eden, happened because of independence. Dependency on God, not only makes sense, but is absolute truth. Right now, we're all depending on God for air to breathe in, and carbon dioxide to breathe out. We don't even realize there are planets that have to be lined up at just the right rotation, otherwise we'd be barbequed to death, or become the "frozen chosen". According to one man, there are things called "mions" that are smaller than protons, neurons, and electrons at the sub-molecular level. These are details that we completely take for granted.
Now, what's my point? My point is that God has made everything good. Don't believe me, read Genesis. That's what He says after he creates all the different things in the universe each day. However, after he was done making man and woman he said that it was "very good". God didn't need our advice, opinion, or approval for creating the smallest particle, or the largest galaxy we can find. He's an amazing engineer, and an impeccable artist. Just looking at the stars alone should fill us with awe and wonder at a God who would create billions of stars just for us. It was those same stars that Abraham saw, when God promised him that He would make Abraham's descendants as numerous as the stars in the night sky.

3. God does not make junk. We are formed in His image, and we are "fearfully and wonderfully made".

There's just something different about taking truth and applying it to our hearts. I've know that the previous statement is true for some time now, but it just never really sank in until recently. God has made me exactly the person that he wanted me to be. I don't talk a lot, but I do write a bit, and love to listen to other people. I've always enjoyed listening to music, and tinkering around with creative things like drawing, writing, composing, and reflecting on things. I've come to realize those are gifts from God, and they don't make me any less of a person than anyone else. I'm reminded of a theme that was used for a young Women's retreat that used aforementioned verse by re-phrasing it this way.

"God thinks you're wonderful."

It really is true. As Bob the tomato is so found of saying,

"God made you special, and He loves you very much."

4. Confusion comes when we focus on what others think of us, instead of the truth found in God's Word (a.k.a. Jesus' love letters).

After I graduated from the discipleship program back in May, we all received Maple Leaf awards, and a nice leather bound New King James Bible. Now, I'm not KJV kinda guy, even though my Dad helped me memorize quite a few verses from that version (i.e. Psalm 23, 91). However, I really came to enjoy reading from this version that takes out the "Thees" and "Thine" and puts in "the" and "Yours". It's much easier to read. Also, "smotten" is no where to be found in this version. Anyway, since there's like 9 students (guys and gals) in discipleship, all our Bibles look very similar, and it was getting hard to distinguish one from the other. I'm not sure who started the trend, but people started writing Scriptures, or how to get saved on the outside of their Bibles. Being the unique guy that I am, I put something I thought was neat on my Bible cover.

Check it out, it's the pic at the top of the blog.

Alright so what you're looking at is a huge heart with a cross in the middle of it. There's also a crown of thorns on the top, but it's probably too light to see.

The words read from top to bottom,

"God's Thoughts, Feelings, and Opinion Towards Humanity Stands Forever."

There's a verse that goes along with it, that I found in Psalms 33:11, and referenced to the side of the heart, but you're probably can't read it.

"The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
The plans of His Heart to all generations."
Ps 33:11

Now, what's really cool is the recent addition which isn't as visible. I took the "O" in "GOD'S" and made it into an eye (the thing you see with). Then, towards the bottom right you can just make out a sheep, right? Well, I put underneath the sheep "ewe", which is a female lamb. If you look at all the pictures from right to left, it says eye (I), heart (love), and then ewe (you). Isn't that cool? I would take credit for it, but Jesus is the one who really made it all possible, having put all those scientific things in place, as well as a love that's actually real, not to mention that creative spark in me that's a gift from Him as well.

5. Don't cheapen the Gospel.

"because of the hope that is laid up in heaven for you, of which you have heard before in the word of the truth of the Gospel, which has come to you, as it has also in all the world, and it is bringing forth fruit, as it also among you since you heard and knew the grace of God in truth;"-Colossians 1:5-6 NKJV

The phrases "word of truth of the Gospel" and "the grace of God in truth" stick out to me. A good friend of mine was encouraging me that it's not enough to preach grace, without repentance. There is a judgment and a reckoning for sin. God is holy, and cannot sin, nor does He tempt others to sin (see the book of James). Without truth, grace is false. Without grace, truth is the law (see Old Testament laws), which is a curse, if you're trying to live under it.

So we need both grace and truth. I think these are also very similar to what Paul wrote to Timothy about faith and love.

"And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus." 1 Timothy 1:14

"Love is an action, not a feeling". I learned this from one of my pastors. What actions has God done on our behalf? Oh, not much really. Just bore the full weight of humanity's sin, and overcome the world by His death and resurrection. That's all. He did this all firmly believing that we would take His offer of taking our place for judement, and recieve His mercy. That's faith.
Seriously, we don't need to think less of God. I said this in the documentary I'm filming and I firmly believe it. We don't give God nearly as much credit as He deserves. Don't sell God short on His promises, and on who He is. Let truth sink deep into your heart. Be emotionally, as well as logically, connected with God. It's a great thing.

Well, that's all for now. I know I feel better now that this information is being circulated to those whom I miss and care for, as well as friends, and friends in disguise (strangers who are friends I haven't met yet). Have a wonderful day, and please don't be shy in leaving a few comments. I haven't heard from some people in a long time.

Take care,
jesse