Good Day

I think this is the first time in a long time, that I'm doing alright today. I think my brain has finally taken the helm this week, and I feel a lot more calm. I had a great time in the Word this morning and was really encouraged to continue serving.

The exciting news today is that it looks like I will be able to receive chiropractic care at no out of pocket expense, and I was able to get some more "biofreeze" today which is very helpful for me.

A verse that's been really speaking to me lately is, "No man hates his own body, but loves and takes care of it." I'm really glad that Jesus loves His Body, and takes care of it, aren't you?

Check out Revelations 21, if you want to see what Jesus sees when He looks at us as the "Lamb's Bride". We are a beautiful city made of transparent glass, solid gold, and decorated with priceless gems. The word "adorn" is used to describe this city a few times, which is an awesome word that means "make more beautiful or attractive".

I also read Ruth chapter 4, where we find out the name of the child that came from Boaz and Ruth's marriage. His name is Obed. Obed means "serving" or "worship" (blueletterbible.org). He just so happens to be the father of Jesse. Obviously, it's really nice to read one's own name in the Bible, and I was very encouraged today when I read that.

Anyway,it was a productive day and I got several errands accomplished, and still a few more to go. I'm having difficulty setting up a podcast for northgateministry.com, and may have to phone a friend, or something. In the meantime, I'm going to get what I can done.

It's good to know that things are going to work out "little by little" (Proverbs 13:11), and that the more I deal with life, the easier it will get. I'm reducing stress by working through things one step at a time and am very encouraged to keep moving forward.

I'm sorry to say that the very good thing is over. However, I'm so less stressed out, and probably better off without it for now. I don't know what the future holds, I just know Who holds the future. He is very trustworthy, and has promised those that seek Him diligently that "they will never be disappointed."

Pro-Adjuster

There's only two chiropractor offices in the entire province (for American's think region) that are licensed to use the pro-adjuster in their offices. Apparently, I lucked out and found a chiropractor who is using state of the art technology to adjust my back. The instrument takes ridiculously accurate spec's of my back, and only adjusts the joints that need to be corrected. Applying a mere five pounds of pressure, the instrument taps my back into place. Some bones require more tapping than others. It actually feels really good after everything is said and done.

I'm still awaiting the insurance companies decision on my ongoing case. I was in a car accident sometime ago, and still suffering from it. I always dread having to write, or talk about it, because it was very traumatic. So, I've had mixed feelings about being adjusted. It's almost like my heart has to have a new context of not being trapped in the same situation I was in before. I know that God knows what's going on with me and my body, even if no one else knows, and He's able to take care of me.

In the meantime, I'm doing lots of stretching, icing the neck 3x a day, and doing some excercises to stretch my hamstrings at night. I'm doing the best I can with the TMJ (temporomandibular joint disorder). Some days are worse than others. I'm still wearing my retainer, but I may need to see an Orthadontist in the near future.

One of my friend Joel's songs that has really spoken to my heart recently, has an awesome chorus that I leave with you.

"Jesus knows, oh Jesus knows, what you're keepin' from the light,
Won't you let me be your joy again again again..."

Scott Cunningham

I love this song that I'm listening to right now. It's called "My Soul Thirsts". I think I might use it in a worship set in the near future.

I still can't get over how blessed I am to serve as a worship leader for such a close knit fellowship. Tonight's bible study is on John 9:4-41. After finishing my daily devo of nine chapters, I'm going to read the text for tonight, and ask God for inspiration. That's how I usually figure out what I'm playing for that small group study. Normally, I have this done way ahead of time, but sometimes life gets in the way. Good thing there's grace, huh? Anyway, I got to get back to studying.

It looks like I just saw someone that I know here at the Grind, it's a small coffee shop that reserves the right to charge $5.00 for free Wi-fi? Am I the only one that thinks that's a contradiction in terms? I'm glad the lady left me and my water bottle off with a warning. Sometimes honesty helps. I only two bucks.

Hand

I know that everything is going to work out,
Everything is going to be just fine,
As long as I have my hand in His,
And His hand in mine.

Pages is da bomb!

I just started using a new program for word processing on my mac called Pages. This thing is seriously awesome. It's so easy to drag and drop pic's, reshape text, and there's so many great looking templates for just about any writing project you can think of (newsletters, for sale signs, etc).

I've since gotten rid of Microsoft Office, and my mac never looked better. Cool thing is that all my word doc's will still work in Pages. You have to check this program out if you've never seen it before.

http://www.apple.com/iwork/tutorials/pages/intro.html#pages-intro

www.beautifulperth.com and JESUS-WOOD

I have to tell the world about the prettiest place in Ontario Canada. I'll give you three guesses. Nope, wrong all three times. It's called Perth, and it's absolutely gorgeous. It's currently celebrating it's 175th anniversary as a town. Most of the buildings are totally from yesteryear. The quaint little shops and restaurants make it a tourist hotspot. Stewart Park, which is a huge blessing, since every event done there is free, and open to the public, is located in downtown Perth. This past July they had a free music concert in the park, which was very cool. Lots of different styles and performers for an entire weekend. I don't think I've ever seen so many weddings happen in one place either. It's like an Irish Spring Soap commercial or something. It's exceptionally green and the flowers are vibrant and colorful. There are times I pinch myself, and ask if I'm on a movie set.

Speaking of which, I just found out recently that filming any building externally is "fair game" from the mayor of Perth. This is incredibly exciting since I've always wanted to film, but often found conflict with getting permission from businesses or administration in government in order to do so. This is like music to a musician's ears. I'm currently working on a few different projects. The first one is a short documentary film called "What is God doing in Perth?" for my church's website, and the other is a modern take on an old kids book called "The Phantom Tollbooth".

This may sound looney, but I've decided to abandon trying to make something happen within the world's market. Why should I have to compromise my ethical standards in the name of entertainment? I think Christian's are just as creative, talented, and intelligent as anyone else, and should be free to create media that glorifies Jesus Christ, and is completely submitted to His authority. It's always been my dream to bring the truth in high definition. Obviously, I need to have the reality check of making sure that it's not just a good thing, but a God thing with whatever I'm doing to serve Jesus. However, I don't think that God makes mistakes, and has given me gifts that need to be used, not abused, to bring the Gospel to an apathetic generation that's more selfish and logical, than selfless and genuine. I've decided to dub this grassroots production company "JESUS-WOOD", because I think it's all about the cross and denying myself, and taking up Jesus wooden cross. This is all so much easier to type on a keyboard, or even read, but quite challenging to live. Let's do what Jesus has asked us to do. Love one another. Speak words that are gracious and affirming. So many films are filled with filthy language, sexually course speech, and derogatory attitudes toward men and women. If for no other reason than that alone, should be enough for us to change things.

"Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good"
-Apostle Paul

"Who is good except God?"
-Jesus

We don't need lots of money, or any of Hollywood's so called stars. With no deadlines, and no budget, I can take as much time as I want on a film AND I don't have to worry about some producer deciding to sacrifice integrity in the name of entertainment, or even worse, cultural relevance. I believe Ravi Zacharias was absolutely right when he said that the order of society should be "Truth is King, and Culture is Relative" not the other way around. Culture is a beautiful thing. Diversity to me is like a pallette full of different colors and tones. Each one of them is special and unique. However, the painting really takes shape, when there's a clear direction for all the colors to align to on the painting.

The saddest thing I've ever scene is an artistic timeline on my home campus, at the Leepa-Rapner Museum in Tarpon Springs, FL at SPC Tarpon campus. In the past few hundred years, all the artistic designs have gotten harder to distinguish. It's almost like the artists have given up trying to trace God's footsteps. As if His fingerprints all over creation aren't beautiful, or that his symmetry is not something to be lost in wonder of. Why must we be either an expressionist, or a modernist? Living somewhere on the extremes of either wild emotion, or pure intellect. Why can't they be balanced? There is beauty in truth, and there is also truth to be found in God's beauty. There's is wisdom in faith, and I have faith in God's wisdom. Do you see the beautiful correlations between the mind and the heart? God did not give us both of these things so that they would be divorced, but so that they could be forever entwined.

I know that the Arts are not given that much priority in our world. A rich man's pleasure, is what some think of this part of society. Similar to classical music, people think they have to wear really nice clothes to enjoy something exquisite. Let me say that the robe the Father gives to the Prodigal Son is much cleaner and warm than anything we can produce. Let's receive God's grace and believe that God can be glorified even in something as trivial as a drawing, painting, movie, tv show, album, statue, or building structure. I know that Art has long reigned with no Ruler. But that isn't true is it? There's always been One King whose name is Faithful. However as the Scripture says,

"..but men hid themselves in darkness, lest their deeds should be exposed.."

I'm not asking for money. I just want prayer. I've decided to stop fighting with my Maker, and use the gifts He's given me for writing and creativity. I'm not a second class citizen in God's Kingdom. There is no class system in God's kingdom. No dictators, or despots, middle class, poor, or somewhere in between any of those things. There's just Jesus and His Bride (the Church). I must admit that as a worship leader, my primary responsibility is to worship the Lord, and lead others into His presence (that's with and without music). I'm called to be a servant, just like everyone else. Sure, I've got some deep thoughts, and a wild imagination. Aren't these some of the same traits we find in God? I'm not saying that I'm God, because I'm definitely not, but we all have similar characteristics that mirror a part of who He is.

There's a great book that I haven't read yet, because it's not intended for me, called "Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. In it, she describes three characteristics of men that are all true of who God is. Command Man, Mr. Consistent, and Mr. Visionary. God knows how to get things done by being a strong authority figure. He's also incredibly faithful, and sticks with things until they are complete. God is also able to speak to us in a way that casts a vision of hope, love, peace, and redemption. He can map things out and inspire us to dream big. I've been told by others that I'm a Mr. Consistent, with a touch of visionary.

In summation, humility and a heart that longs to be like Jesus is all my desire in everything, whether that's washing dishes, or writing the next great American novel, it's the same thing. I still have to come to the cross daily and hand over my right to be ambitious, but there is this strong yearning I have. I just want to say "I love you so much Jesus" with everything I have in me. It's unwise for someone to think they will ever match the love that God has poured out on us. However, it's also unwise to over look what Jesus said was the greatest commandment.

"Love the Lord your God with
ALL your heart (that's your emotions),
ALL your mind, (that's your thoughts)
ALL your soul, (that's your will, feelings, and intellect)
ALL your strength, (that's your physical body)

And the second is like it, Love your neighbor as you love yourself"

I cannot love my neighbor, if I am not filled with a love for God. Church, let's get back to serving and loving on Jesus. If the economy is in the tank, that's okay, cause Jesus kingdom will never end. His promises are still in effect. Nothing He has written will fade away.

"The Word of the Lord endures forever"

Let's take up the practice of praying and calling out to Jesus again, whether we have food, money, or even clothes. None of those material things will ever change God's everlasting truth and goodness. I'm convinced there are some children in Africa who will wake up in Heaven's glory and will receive more honor than some, because they genuinely believed that Jesus would save them, and because Jesus said himself,

"Many who are first shall be last, and many who last shall be first..."

I'm not saying that it's not a high honor to forever be with the Lord by itself, but I think we place far too great a value on what we possess, or can manufacture, and have completely forgotten the Lord and all the amazing things He has provided to us abundantly. Last time I checked, God didn't charge Adam and Eve for eating all the other trees in the Garden, He just punished them for disobeying Him by eating from the one tree they couldn't eat from. Those children in Africa have absolutely nothing, and have lived in a war torn country for years, stricken by poverty and hopelessness. I'm not saying that we should all feel guilty for living so well, I'm just saying "Wake up!" If we're just living for what's good here and now, what's gonna be our reward THERE and THEN in Heaven? I'm not advocating we should all quit our jobs, or depend on the governement to meet our needs. I'm saying we should divert all our attention, focus, and time on being with Jesus. That's the only thing that's going to last for all eternity.

If a goofy song accomplishes that, praise the Lord. If a gripping movie, causes one soul to repent, Amen. And if one person reading this, decides to take God up on His Word, and encounter the Lord in a very real and vibrant way, then my scatterbrained writing will not have been written in vain. Like the prophets in the Old Testament, the Spirit of God moved on their hearts, and they spoke.

Please forgive me for such a long rant. But I've been thinking about these things for a very long time, and could use some feedback on them.

This will be my final quote for this entry.

"The Church used to act as a thermostat, setting the temperature for society. Now, it acts like a thermometer, only giving a current reading.."
- paraphrased, Martin Luther King, Jr., from "A Letter from Birmingham Jail"

Church we need to repent, and then we can lead others into repentance. Personal revival must happen first before local, regional, national, and international can take place. Obviously, authentic revival only occurs as God the Father directs, and people are faithful to Jesus leading, and the Holy Spirit is given freedom to work. We should never worship a formula, but the God whose mind is unsearchable and fathomless. His name is Jesus. Let's worship Him.

First Annual Songwriter's Ball

Last Friday night was amazing. Originally the idea was to just use Gen's, my sister in law's, Belkin tunetalk mic that fits on an ipod, and have everyone record using a cheap quick mic, or even using my crummy laptop mic, which my friend Joel says is pretty lame for recording, since any mic you can buy at radio shack would be better than that one. Miraculously, two different people provided ridiculously expensive track recording equipment and studio quality mics. We had the event at the Doornenkamp's house in Westport. Apparently, Jacob Moon has played there before. We had a great time eating some chili that Steph's mom made, and fellowshipping. It took us awhile to set up, us meaning mainly Joel and Amy, but once everything was set to go, we prayed, and led a few worship songs to start the evening. After that, Steph and her mom jumped up and did a great song called "Shadowlands" that her mom wrote the words to, and Stephanie composed the music for. It's got a killer hook, and is very inspiring. Steph also played a couple of new songs she's written like "He longs for you" which is really really good. Next on the list was Amy D. who has so much creativity it's not even funny. Part of the purpose of having a "Songwriter's Ball" is to encourage each other in the gift on songwriting, and this was a perfect opportunity. Amy has some great melodies, and unbelievably awesome lyrics, but a few of her songs aren't quite finished yet, and are open for some collaboration. After Amy's last song, two guys who are exceptionally talented ,Josh and Mark. Mark was able to do some incredible beat-boxing, and Josh keeps it real wish some fresh freestyle. Apparently, it's been almost two years since they did any recording, so they had to practice their rap a few times, but they made us all laugh, and we were glad that they decided to jump out there without being asked ahead of time. Number four on the list was Art, who decided to sing "Lord, I lift your name on high". I played guitar for him, and the girls decided to do back up vocals for him as well. It was very genuine worship. Fifth, on the lineup, is a young guy named Joel Williams, who has a great somber voice that reminds me of a blend of Jack Johnson meets Brian Doerksen, or something. Anyway, he has his own unique style, and some great songs about Jesus. He did one of my favorite songs that he does called "Wildflower" which is really about being content with God...I think, I'm not sure. Anyway, it's got a great line at the end that says "Wildflower, I know that you were wild all along." Good stuff. The last songwriter for the evening was myself. I've just written a new song called, "Christ will Shine" that I did, followed by an older one called "True Love." The evening was not complete however until Amy, Stephanie, and myself sung together on the song we all collaborated on "Psalm 133/Running Down". Three part harmony sounds really nice on that chorus. It's mainly about unity found in Jesus, and His overflowing life continually running down on us.

It was very good. All the music from that evening was acoustic with some vocals. We're recording for the purpose of encouraging the Body of Christ, not necessarily making money, we sing for Jesus only. So were hoping to get all these great tracks mixed down this week, and then start making copies to hand out to friends and family. If you want a copy, let me know and I'll get you one. It's just like God's grace, it's free, and full of love.

One more thing, one of the girls from discipleship helped put together a poster for the evening. I had this idea of a visual representation for Psalms 23:6-7. I saw a picture of someone crying right next to a cup that's spilling over. I firmly believe that when we cry it's a sign that we are filled over the top with the Spirit of God. He loves us so tenderly, and knows all that we've gone through. It's time to let it out and let grace come rushing in, over, and down the sides. It was great to finally see something that I had envisioned two years prior come to pass.

Overdue

Okay, I know. I know. I'm way overdue for an update for friends, family, and myself included. Believe it or not, this is actually highly therapeutic for me to share my thoughts in text. I've had more awesome things happen to me in the last two weeks than has ever happened before. Right now, I'm trying to contain the excitement of working on a worship album (for real, with real sound equipment and incredibly talented people), a short documentary called "What is God doing in Perth?", and also something else that is really good...however, the Gospel is a mystery, and I'm going to leave you in suspense for awhile. Trust me, that it's something very very good.

A few weeks ago, it was my birthday weekend, and I could think of nothing more fun than visiting my brother in Ottawa, and attending his church the next day. I was overwhelmed by the hospitality and generosity that my brother showed, and then even more blown away by the service the next day. The teaching was on Galatians 3 entitled "Come Back to Simple Faith in Jesus" and it was just phenomenal to be reminded of a life based on grace, not human behavior or experience. The worship afterwards was knock your socks off great, and the love of God seemed to be very tangible in that place.


You can find the message here (www.calvaryfellowship.ca). Just click on subscribe to podcast, and then load itunes, if you need to.

After service, I felt led to ask for emotional healing. God has done an amazing work on my heart in the last few weeks. I feel more alive than I have in years. It's taken me awhile to find where I ditched my heart. I left it in Canada, the day that a young girl in FL told me the truth, and gently broke my heart. She did not have the same feelings for me, that I had for her. I've never cried as much as when I recieved that email, and vowed that I would never again encounter that much emotional turmoil. So, I turned off. I took whatever was my heart, threw it in a deep freezer of fear, poured on some heavy weights off ignorance, and then made sure that an ivory tower of knowledge would protect it day and night. I became a machine. A living breathing brain with no heart whatsoever. Looking back, I can see how incredibly foolish this was. I've learned some very key things while being in discipleship.

1. If you're going to follow Jesus, you're going to suffer pain.

"If anyone wants to follow me, let him first deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me."
-Jesus

"Anyone that desires to live godly after Christ Jesus will suffer persecution."
-Apostle Paul

In the Bible, Jesus is described as a man acquainted with sufferring. I doubt if we could relate to God, if He had no clue what it was like to be human. I know I lived in fear of going either too high, or too low with my emotions. I would usually stay low, or in the mid section. Right now, I am flying high, but trying to come back down to the middle from time to time. Others are helping me see when I'm not being myself, and also making sure that my priorities are in order.

2. It does not all depend on you. Jesus bore the weight of the world on His shoulders. You don't have to.

The very first sin in the garden of Eden, happened because of independence. Dependency on God, not only makes sense, but is absolute truth. Right now, we're all depending on God for air to breathe in, and carbon dioxide to breathe out. We don't even realize there are planets that have to be lined up at just the right rotation, otherwise we'd be barbequed to death, or become the "frozen chosen". According to one man, there are things called "mions" that are smaller than protons, neurons, and electrons at the sub-molecular level. These are details that we completely take for granted.
Now, what's my point? My point is that God has made everything good. Don't believe me, read Genesis. That's what He says after he creates all the different things in the universe each day. However, after he was done making man and woman he said that it was "very good". God didn't need our advice, opinion, or approval for creating the smallest particle, or the largest galaxy we can find. He's an amazing engineer, and an impeccable artist. Just looking at the stars alone should fill us with awe and wonder at a God who would create billions of stars just for us. It was those same stars that Abraham saw, when God promised him that He would make Abraham's descendants as numerous as the stars in the night sky.

3. God does not make junk. We are formed in His image, and we are "fearfully and wonderfully made".

There's just something different about taking truth and applying it to our hearts. I've know that the previous statement is true for some time now, but it just never really sank in until recently. God has made me exactly the person that he wanted me to be. I don't talk a lot, but I do write a bit, and love to listen to other people. I've always enjoyed listening to music, and tinkering around with creative things like drawing, writing, composing, and reflecting on things. I've come to realize those are gifts from God, and they don't make me any less of a person than anyone else. I'm reminded of a theme that was used for a young Women's retreat that used aforementioned verse by re-phrasing it this way.

"God thinks you're wonderful."

It really is true. As Bob the tomato is so found of saying,

"God made you special, and He loves you very much."

4. Confusion comes when we focus on what others think of us, instead of the truth found in God's Word (a.k.a. Jesus' love letters).

After I graduated from the discipleship program back in May, we all received Maple Leaf awards, and a nice leather bound New King James Bible. Now, I'm not KJV kinda guy, even though my Dad helped me memorize quite a few verses from that version (i.e. Psalm 23, 91). However, I really came to enjoy reading from this version that takes out the "Thees" and "Thine" and puts in "the" and "Yours". It's much easier to read. Also, "smotten" is no where to be found in this version. Anyway, since there's like 9 students (guys and gals) in discipleship, all our Bibles look very similar, and it was getting hard to distinguish one from the other. I'm not sure who started the trend, but people started writing Scriptures, or how to get saved on the outside of their Bibles. Being the unique guy that I am, I put something I thought was neat on my Bible cover.

Check it out, it's the pic at the top of the blog.

Alright so what you're looking at is a huge heart with a cross in the middle of it. There's also a crown of thorns on the top, but it's probably too light to see.

The words read from top to bottom,

"God's Thoughts, Feelings, and Opinion Towards Humanity Stands Forever."

There's a verse that goes along with it, that I found in Psalms 33:11, and referenced to the side of the heart, but you're probably can't read it.

"The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
The plans of His Heart to all generations."
Ps 33:11

Now, what's really cool is the recent addition which isn't as visible. I took the "O" in "GOD'S" and made it into an eye (the thing you see with). Then, towards the bottom right you can just make out a sheep, right? Well, I put underneath the sheep "ewe", which is a female lamb. If you look at all the pictures from right to left, it says eye (I), heart (love), and then ewe (you). Isn't that cool? I would take credit for it, but Jesus is the one who really made it all possible, having put all those scientific things in place, as well as a love that's actually real, not to mention that creative spark in me that's a gift from Him as well.

5. Don't cheapen the Gospel.

"because of the hope that is laid up in heaven for you, of which you have heard before in the word of the truth of the Gospel, which has come to you, as it has also in all the world, and it is bringing forth fruit, as it also among you since you heard and knew the grace of God in truth;"-Colossians 1:5-6 NKJV

The phrases "word of truth of the Gospel" and "the grace of God in truth" stick out to me. A good friend of mine was encouraging me that it's not enough to preach grace, without repentance. There is a judgment and a reckoning for sin. God is holy, and cannot sin, nor does He tempt others to sin (see the book of James). Without truth, grace is false. Without grace, truth is the law (see Old Testament laws), which is a curse, if you're trying to live under it.

So we need both grace and truth. I think these are also very similar to what Paul wrote to Timothy about faith and love.

"And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus." 1 Timothy 1:14

"Love is an action, not a feeling". I learned this from one of my pastors. What actions has God done on our behalf? Oh, not much really. Just bore the full weight of humanity's sin, and overcome the world by His death and resurrection. That's all. He did this all firmly believing that we would take His offer of taking our place for judement, and recieve His mercy. That's faith.
Seriously, we don't need to think less of God. I said this in the documentary I'm filming and I firmly believe it. We don't give God nearly as much credit as He deserves. Don't sell God short on His promises, and on who He is. Let truth sink deep into your heart. Be emotionally, as well as logically, connected with God. It's a great thing.

Well, that's all for now. I know I feel better now that this information is being circulated to those whom I miss and care for, as well as friends, and friends in disguise (strangers who are friends I haven't met yet). Have a wonderful day, and please don't be shy in leaving a few comments. I haven't heard from some people in a long time.

Take care,
jesse