Sigh. Although, I passed my Math class, without a "B", I'm required to take the Math section of the "College Level Academic Skills Test". It could be worse. I could have to take the last Math class this semester all over again. That's definitely not happening. It's literally a "Christmas miracle" that I even passed at all. I literally had to fight for every inch of that class, and it still wasn't enough. In fairness, I did miss three assignments, which cost me the fifty points I needed for a "B". However, it just seems wrong that, only ".5" of my G.P.A. is holding me back from my printed degree.
My Math may be fuzzy, but this is what I did. A "C" is "2.0", and I earned two of them in both my classes. So, I added them together for the sum of "4.0" and divided them by "2" to get the average for my cumulative G.P.A. of "2.0" in Mathematics. I needed "2.5" to seal the deal.
I wish I could say that it didn't affect me during the graduation ceremony, but that's untrue. I kept having to tell myself that these last courses, are not an accurate indicator of the work I've done over the whole of my degree. I've worked very hard, and overcome a lot of fears, and circumstances beyond my control.
In regards, to this final test, I like to use the quote from the movie "Princess Bride".
"A technicality that shall be shortly remedied."
That's really what this last test is. Just a formality that needs attention.
I am a college graduate. Period. The fact of the matter is that no other classes need to be taken.
I recently received a plaque that I'll have to implement from now on.
"Courage isn't always a lion's roar. It is sometimes the heart at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.' "
Monday, December 22, 2008
Am I dreaming?
That's the only thought I had in my head last Saturday, as I'm waiting in line to receive recognition of my A.A. degree (and all the hard work I put into it this year). Everything was just so good. I kept thinking that someone was going to pinch me, and I'd wake up. Seeing my friends and family wave at me, I felt like an athlete about to receive a medal. Here I am, at the end of the race. Taking everything in, and amazed at being able to catch my breath.
I was so nervous when I walked on stage. I should have been more assured of myself, because I think my pics came out pretty rough. I look shaky, and afraid of doing something wrong. At least, the one where I shake hands with the professor looks decent. Oh, well. My parents took pictures beforehand. If nothing else, those snaps should be good.
Two things were more encouraging than anything else during the ceremony. An encouragement that the composer Handel worked night and day during rough times in the economy. It was during this time that he wrote "Messiah", which has one of the most well known choral pieces "Hallelujah Chorus". Dr. Kutler said,"You never know. You might be one chair away from the next Handel." Handel is one of my favorite composers, for a little known work called "Te Dettingen Deum". I listened to it, while reading "The Arts and the Bible" by Francis Schaeffer. For those of us who are creative, it's very cool. The second thing was a poll to see who took the longest to earn their degree. I thought five years was pretty long for someone like me to finish an A.A. However, one student had taken twenty-five years to finish his degree. Everyone has to operate on their own timetable I guess.
At the end of the stage, each student shakes hands with Dr. Kutler (college president). All of the sudden, a memory came rushing to mind. A year and a half ago, I was going to make a "sales pitch" to get SPC a network on facebook, just like the other major universities (i.e. USF, FSU,etc). The meeting never took place. By the time I got to Gibbs campus that day, I had just missed him. However, I did meet with the vice president of S.G.A., and showed him my hip powerpoint, that even had a movie clip from "The Two Towers" with it. I think I also used the quote, "What we have here, is a failure to communicate." This was back in the day, when I really wanted to see Student Activities on campus flourish. I wanted to use every available resource to invite people to bible studies, and even anti-spiritual activities like sports, or movies. So, yes I did have my own agenda, but I figured Christians should be the ones setting the trends for the rest of world, not the other way around.
In any case, that memory faded, and I reached to shake his hand with a cautious smile, and Dr. Kutler told me,"Be careful that you don't trip." This was not exactly what I expected to hear, but seeing the pictures, it makes more sense now, than it did at the time. A friend congratulated me earlier last week, and jokingly told me not to trip on stage as well. I was wondering if they both planned a conspiracy to make me fall on my face, or if I have "clutz" written on my forehead.
I've never had a formal graduation until this past weekend. I earned a G.E.D. eight years ago, and celebrated at home. Words can't describe the feeling of joy and accomplishment in finishing something like this. It seemed to good to be true.
All in all, it was a great day to finally relax. I enjoyed talking to friends I haven't seen in what seems like years now. Even though my family came as far as Alabama to come see me, they have no idea how much it meant for me to see them there. That's not a dig against any family member, or friend, who couldn't make it. No one is in the doghouse. I think one of my greatest strengths is being aware of the present. I'm grateful for graduating, and for both friends and family helping me make it through. If all the people who helped me get to where I am today where present, their would not be enough room for them all. There were several people who were there in spirit and crowding out the place.
Praise God! Time to move on to something else, like a job.
I was so nervous when I walked on stage. I should have been more assured of myself, because I think my pics came out pretty rough. I look shaky, and afraid of doing something wrong. At least, the one where I shake hands with the professor looks decent. Oh, well. My parents took pictures beforehand. If nothing else, those snaps should be good.
Two things were more encouraging than anything else during the ceremony. An encouragement that the composer Handel worked night and day during rough times in the economy. It was during this time that he wrote "Messiah", which has one of the most well known choral pieces "Hallelujah Chorus". Dr. Kutler said,"You never know. You might be one chair away from the next Handel." Handel is one of my favorite composers, for a little known work called "Te Dettingen Deum". I listened to it, while reading "The Arts and the Bible" by Francis Schaeffer. For those of us who are creative, it's very cool. The second thing was a poll to see who took the longest to earn their degree. I thought five years was pretty long for someone like me to finish an A.A. However, one student had taken twenty-five years to finish his degree. Everyone has to operate on their own timetable I guess.
At the end of the stage, each student shakes hands with Dr. Kutler (college president). All of the sudden, a memory came rushing to mind. A year and a half ago, I was going to make a "sales pitch" to get SPC a network on facebook, just like the other major universities (i.e. USF, FSU,etc). The meeting never took place. By the time I got to Gibbs campus that day, I had just missed him. However, I did meet with the vice president of S.G.A., and showed him my hip powerpoint, that even had a movie clip from "The Two Towers" with it. I think I also used the quote, "What we have here, is a failure to communicate." This was back in the day, when I really wanted to see Student Activities on campus flourish. I wanted to use every available resource to invite people to bible studies, and even anti-spiritual activities like sports, or movies. So, yes I did have my own agenda, but I figured Christians should be the ones setting the trends for the rest of world, not the other way around.
In any case, that memory faded, and I reached to shake his hand with a cautious smile, and Dr. Kutler told me,"Be careful that you don't trip." This was not exactly what I expected to hear, but seeing the pictures, it makes more sense now, than it did at the time. A friend congratulated me earlier last week, and jokingly told me not to trip on stage as well. I was wondering if they both planned a conspiracy to make me fall on my face, or if I have "clutz" written on my forehead.
I've never had a formal graduation until this past weekend. I earned a G.E.D. eight years ago, and celebrated at home. Words can't describe the feeling of joy and accomplishment in finishing something like this. It seemed to good to be true.
All in all, it was a great day to finally relax. I enjoyed talking to friends I haven't seen in what seems like years now. Even though my family came as far as Alabama to come see me, they have no idea how much it meant for me to see them there. That's not a dig against any family member, or friend, who couldn't make it. No one is in the doghouse. I think one of my greatest strengths is being aware of the present. I'm grateful for graduating, and for both friends and family helping me make it through. If all the people who helped me get to where I am today where present, their would not be enough room for them all. There were several people who were there in spirit and crowding out the place.
Praise God! Time to move on to something else, like a job.
A quick glance
In one of many visits to Starbucks, an older gentlemen shared some advice with me and my friends in Canada.
"You can glance at the past. Just don't stare."
In this past year, I've done the following things in no particular order;
Finished all the classes I needed for my A.A. degree.
Worked on a Christian T.V. show as a helper/grip, amateur boom operator, and even a quick spot as an extra.
Recorded my first single in a small recording studio.
Helped serve and feed the poor in downtown St. Pete (to celebrate my best friend's birthday, no less).
Led worship for youth group, and a few times for regular service at my church.
Taught a few guitar lessons at two different churches during the summer.
Moved boxes, furniture, and other items to help a friend with his moving business to pay for tuition (I still have dreams of the move that was nothing but boxes).
Ate at the original "Country Pizza Inn" in Clearwater and even got to see the owner from across the room at the restuarant.
Met a few Christians who've worked in different positions in the media industry and listened to their stories/advice.
Helped a friend move to Alaska, and got in a car accident (Also, stated the obvious when I said, "That guy really made a big impression").
Got M.R.I.'s, and x-rays that showed herniated discs in my neck, and a bulging disc in my lower back.
Did physical therapy, electrical therapy, massage therapy, the roller table, chiropractic correction, and, my all time favorite with no sarcasm, decompression to help with chronic pain in my neck and back.
I had two different procedures done to remove a growth on my pinky. It was very painful, the first time, because I had two novices working on me instead of a real dermatologist. I'm still not sure what caused this.
Performed as an actor/video editor in a student film called "Eijopani" directed by my best friend, and also starring another friend.
Said "No" to a variety of social settings, activities, and even good things, so they wouldn't conflict with my classes.
Tried my luck as a stand-up comedian one time at the coffeehouse on campus, and bombed big time (I think I'll leave all the comedic stuff to my older brothers).
Also, took "Drawing" and enjoyed trying something different.
Prayed a couple of times this past semester with other students for God to receive glory, students to shine brightly, and the Gospel to be spread.
Prayed a few times for God to help me finish this degree, and for "the way out" when tempted to give up.
Learned how to stretch my body, mind, and soul to lengths I didn't think were possible.
Made new friends at a different church, and found a place to serve and be served there.
Went to "Lee Roy Selmon's" for the first time and ate barbeque buffalo chicken tortilla's with sour cream.
Met with pastors a few times, and other good godly men for counsel, prayer, and accountability (food, too).
Went with the youth group to watch a Christian battle of the bands in St. Pete where a group called "39 Stripes" gave a great performance, despite the fact that we were the only ones there to hear them, instead of the thousands of students they were promised as the headline band. There was also a group whose lead singer had a voice that can only be described as "Scooby-Do" swallowing the "Cookie Monster". They get props for giving away a free cd though. One of the all guy bands, forgot to buy pants that fit, and made me question whether they knew their audience.
At Calvary St. Pete, I attended the youth conference "Absolute '08" were Phil Wickham led worship live, and my brother Andy gave a message among other pastors like Pedro Garcia. It was really cool.
Was a "crew leader" in my old church's V.B.S. program this past summer and had a great time as a Deputy with his buckaroo's.
Hung out with believers to fellowship at various places/times.
Made it to Ottawa for a quick visit at the Men's Conference and enjoyed the worship, prayer, and messages during the conference, and, especially, Sunday's service.
Visited Full Sail University and took their backstage "film" tour with my best friend.
Hired a lawyer.
Tried very hard to be consistent in my relationship with God and others.
Went to my first graduation ceremony, and was a nervous wreck.
Took several long walks when frustrated, angry, or in pain, to ask God to help me "take every thought captive that comes against the knowledge of Christ".
Learned that any theory, or worldview that has no room for God in it, is absolutely hopeless. Like an unsolved equation, it has no solutions.
Learning that faith has less to do with what I know, or can do, and more to do with just trusting God at His Word by moving my feet like in belief that there's something to step on.
Out of a list of 7 short term goals for this year, I completed four of them (I'm sure to get a merit badge now).
Went to a rare event where all the entire Falleur family was accounted for. Brothers with wives and kids, cousins with spouses, Grandparents, my Aunt, my sister, and even others whom I'm not sure how they're related, but glad they came. I think the total was something like 42 people in all. Thanksgiving was definitely on a large scale this year.
"You can glance at the past. Just don't stare."
In this past year, I've done the following things in no particular order;
Finished all the classes I needed for my A.A. degree.
Worked on a Christian T.V. show as a helper/grip, amateur boom operator, and even a quick spot as an extra.
Recorded my first single in a small recording studio.
Helped serve and feed the poor in downtown St. Pete (to celebrate my best friend's birthday, no less).
Led worship for youth group, and a few times for regular service at my church.
Taught a few guitar lessons at two different churches during the summer.
Moved boxes, furniture, and other items to help a friend with his moving business to pay for tuition (I still have dreams of the move that was nothing but boxes).
Ate at the original "Country Pizza Inn" in Clearwater and even got to see the owner from across the room at the restuarant.
Met a few Christians who've worked in different positions in the media industry and listened to their stories/advice.
Helped a friend move to Alaska, and got in a car accident (Also, stated the obvious when I said, "That guy really made a big impression").
Got M.R.I.'s, and x-rays that showed herniated discs in my neck, and a bulging disc in my lower back.
Did physical therapy, electrical therapy, massage therapy, the roller table, chiropractic correction, and, my all time favorite with no sarcasm, decompression to help with chronic pain in my neck and back.
I had two different procedures done to remove a growth on my pinky. It was very painful, the first time, because I had two novices working on me instead of a real dermatologist. I'm still not sure what caused this.
Performed as an actor/video editor in a student film called "Eijopani" directed by my best friend, and also starring another friend.
Said "No" to a variety of social settings, activities, and even good things, so they wouldn't conflict with my classes.
Tried my luck as a stand-up comedian one time at the coffeehouse on campus, and bombed big time (I think I'll leave all the comedic stuff to my older brothers).
Also, took "Drawing" and enjoyed trying something different.
Prayed a couple of times this past semester with other students for God to receive glory, students to shine brightly, and the Gospel to be spread.
Prayed a few times for God to help me finish this degree, and for "the way out" when tempted to give up.
Learned how to stretch my body, mind, and soul to lengths I didn't think were possible.
Made new friends at a different church, and found a place to serve and be served there.
Went to "Lee Roy Selmon's" for the first time and ate barbeque buffalo chicken tortilla's with sour cream.
Met with pastors a few times, and other good godly men for counsel, prayer, and accountability (food, too).
Went with the youth group to watch a Christian battle of the bands in St. Pete where a group called "39 Stripes" gave a great performance, despite the fact that we were the only ones there to hear them, instead of the thousands of students they were promised as the headline band. There was also a group whose lead singer had a voice that can only be described as "Scooby-Do" swallowing the "Cookie Monster". They get props for giving away a free cd though. One of the all guy bands, forgot to buy pants that fit, and made me question whether they knew their audience.
At Calvary St. Pete, I attended the youth conference "Absolute '08" were Phil Wickham led worship live, and my brother Andy gave a message among other pastors like Pedro Garcia. It was really cool.
Was a "crew leader" in my old church's V.B.S. program this past summer and had a great time as a Deputy with his buckaroo's.
Hung out with believers to fellowship at various places/times.
Made it to Ottawa for a quick visit at the Men's Conference and enjoyed the worship, prayer, and messages during the conference, and, especially, Sunday's service.
Visited Full Sail University and took their backstage "film" tour with my best friend.
Hired a lawyer.
Tried very hard to be consistent in my relationship with God and others.
Went to my first graduation ceremony, and was a nervous wreck.
Took several long walks when frustrated, angry, or in pain, to ask God to help me "take every thought captive that comes against the knowledge of Christ".
Learned that any theory, or worldview that has no room for God in it, is absolutely hopeless. Like an unsolved equation, it has no solutions.
Learning that faith has less to do with what I know, or can do, and more to do with just trusting God at His Word by moving my feet like in belief that there's something to step on.
Out of a list of 7 short term goals for this year, I completed four of them (I'm sure to get a merit badge now).
Went to a rare event where all the entire Falleur family was accounted for. Brothers with wives and kids, cousins with spouses, Grandparents, my Aunt, my sister, and even others whom I'm not sure how they're related, but glad they came. I think the total was something like 42 people in all. Thanksgiving was definitely on a large scale this year.
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