We are broken, so that we'll stay open. If we are closed, then we are indisposed.
This goes right along with the other blog "No dumping", and has also been on my heart lately. I really don't even know where to start. When we say, in Christian circles, "I am broken", we're really saying a mouthful, in those three little words;
"I am a sinner."
"I sin."
"I live in world that glorifies sin."
"God is deeply touching my heart, pointing out the sin within, and asking me to walk away from it."
"In spite of how wicked I am, God is so good, and I'm crying because I can't handle it,"etc.
There is more that could be said, but (thanks to the English language) one word can have several definitions. Usually, brokenness entails; conviction of sin, submission to God, and/or an awareness of sin. Chances are that we've sung, read, or even heard someone mention this idea of being broken. But like the sentence at the beginning, that's really only half of the bigger idea.
We are broken, so that we'll stay open.
It stands to reason, that if someone has broken their arms, AND their legs, they are really in no place to close off from the world. In fact, they need people MORE now then they did before. The simplest things as going to the bathroom, or changing a t.v. channel, is completely up to the kindness of others. So, how does this relate to sin, God, and our lives? Imagine that you are handicapped for life. I'm sure it's harder for some than others. Although there is probably some measure of independence, there is an almost certainty that accommodations will be necessary in order to suit your needs. Your life is filled with a keen awareness of your condition and the need for other people. The fact is, whether we're handicapped or not, we all need people in our lives. I'm using this as an example to contrast and compare physical properties with spiritual ones. We have a desperate need for God. It's possible to know how much we need people physically around us;however, I don't think we know the extent of the spiritual damage of sin and how only God can bring wholeness.
Soapbox Warning!!!!!
Now, I have a loaded sawed off shotgun (figurative people not literal) that I'm about to use on an idea that just needs to die. The fact that we have a need for God as broken sinners DOES NOT make us less of a person. The reason someone goes to kneel at the front of the aisle is to lay it all out before God. Is there a person on this planet that this does not apply to? Is there a magic wand that just helps us skip through James chapter 1? I don't think so. The word is very clear in 1 John 1:8,
"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."
Climbing back down two feet...
There is a beautiful release in emptying the contents of your heart and mind before God. In fact, it is highly recommended by five out of five doctors (Dr. David, Dr. John, Dr. Paul, Dr. James and Dr. Jesus) Psalms 32:5, 1 John 1:9, Rom 10:9, James 5:16, and Matt 5:17. Seriously, why is this open face something undesired in the modern church? There is freedom in surrender. I love how one brother said that, "What we try to hide, God uncovers. What we uncover, God covers." Is it apparent how being open and broken go hand in hand? There is nothing to hide, when Jesus is your covering.
We are broken, so that we'll stay open. I think of the verse that shows how tender God made Paul's heart to the Corinthians.
"O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open."
2 Corinthians 6:11-13
I don't think Paul is belittling the Corinthians. I think he is filled to the brim with compassion, and godly frustration. It's almost like a father who is fed up with excuses from a distant child and says "Spit it out!" "What's going on?"
I know this is long, and I'm going to talk about "closed and indisposed" in a part two. How can we communicate, if we are only using pretense and not truth? There are different levels to whom we trust and share our deepest selves. I am aware that the cost of honesty is one's pride, but intimacy is impossible without honesty. I'm talking about love not sex. If we are honest with God, why is it a challenge to be honest with each other? I'm not suggesting that we should "air our laundry" outside. That's not wise
(see "No dumping?" blog).
I''m suggesting we trade our rags for riches and exchange our defective lives, for eternal youth. When things are right with God, chances are, that things are also right with the world again. Is the freedom evident? Am I making myself clear? I don't know where I heard this, but an honest man has nothing to be afraid of. If God is charge, then He is really the only One I should be afraid of, especially if He is just, righteous, and holy! If I've made things right with God, than I'm in the clear. It's already out there in the open. It's not hanging over my head anymore. It's gone. And if anyone says anything to dilute the work of the Spirit, I can just give it to the Lord, and He will deal with the problem. I'm only responsible for my own actions. I can't control other people. I'm going to choose to let Jesus reign over my life, and pray that others will do the same.
I've said this before, and I will say it again, I am not perfect. Only God is perfect. I have not arrived. I hold this verse to my heart, because it means so much to me.
"Not that I have attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me."
-Phil 3:12
I don't have Jesus. Jesus has me. I didn't look for Him. He looked for me. I'm not my own man. I've been bought with a price. Jesus is the biggest part of this relationship. He's the One who has me completely. But do I have Him completely? Not yet, but one day I will.
I sincerely believe that brokenness and openness is a process. For those who are Christians, it started the day they decided to become a disciple of Jesus Christ, but it was not to supposed to end there. I love how my brother Andy phrases it as "a surrendered life". Our cross is to be shouldered daily. It's very easy to forget the Jesus was split wide open just for us. His fleshly body was broken. Blood dripped down as he was cut open. Several places on his body were brutally broken. His own mother didn't recognize his face. He was open and He was broken. That is our call. We are to follow in His footsteps, and die, so that we can come back to life again.
"Widsom is supreme; therefore, get wisdom. Though it cost all you have get understanding."
-Proverbs 4:7
Monday, May 26, 2008
No dumping?
I had a much more humorous title for this blog, but I decided to take the mature route. Yeah, I guess I'm mellowing out now that I'm in my late twenty's.
Anyway, this isn't about smelly dumpsters, trash, or fecal matter, this is about a need that we all have as humans to spill our guts to close friends, family, or others we trust. We all need a place to vent. Like the Greek figure Atlas, we need to let go of the heavy burden of the world on our shoulders. Although the need is valid, sometimes our course of action to address that need is not. There are recent events that, ouch hallelujah, are causing me to enact "endurance" and "patience" in my life. In fact, not too long ago, I was trying to reach some of my closest friends, and counselors a.k.a my C.O.M. (Counsel of Many, see Proverbs) to discuss and even pray about things going on in my life. For some reason, I could not get a hold of anyone. I didn't realize that sometimes "You don't need to run to the phone. You need to run to the throne." I wanted so badly to just put it all out there, and have someone else be understanding, and empathetic to my issues. But that's just the point, there is Someone who knows exactly what's going on, and can make things right again. I really was not wanting to do that, and was running around the house like a chicken with my head cut off, when my sister stopped me. She asked me what was up, and although I still didn't get a chance to release, she prayed for me. Afterwards she said, "Jes, maybe you need to just put it all on Jesus?" Once again, not something I wanted to hear, but I knew it was exactly what I was supposed to do.
There is always a shoulder to lean on. There is always a place let go, when I "give it to the Lord in prayer." Man, is that hard to do sometimes. My dad once told me, "We're supposed to buddy up with the Lord, but sometimes it's nice to have someone in flesh and blood." If you're one of the C.O.M., and you know who you are, I'm not mad, I'm blessed. There are some things that are so deep, so personal, so gut wrenching, that they only belong between me and the Lord. There is a great and abiding peace, laying all matters before Him, and trusting that He will work it all out.
Over the course of three weeks, three different verses have lined up in perfect logical order.
"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small."
-Proverbs 24:10
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
-Proverbs 17:17
"A man who has friends must show himself friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
-Proverbs 18:24
Is the pattern evident? Even if it is, please read the verses again slowly. When adversity comes, it's good to have a brother/friend. But it doesn't rise and fall there, because there is still someone greater than a good friend.
Alright, so here's me pretending to be the reader. Well, I see Jesse's got some logic with adversity. I follow that. But what point is he making with the whole brother/friend vs. greater than good friend?
My point is this, there is another level of closeness that goes beyond friendship, and family. This is generally reserved for spouses.
Pretend..."I think Jesse is on crack. That verse about sticking closer than a brother is obviously about Jesus, and I'm going to stop reading this already."
Please wait, and don't miss this. Yes, it is Jesus. We are His Bride. He is our Heavenly husband. That's the point I'm making. Why would I want to dump on my friends and family, when I can dump on Jesus? I mean, this is convicting. Do I think that He can't take it? Or even worse, do I think He won't do anything to help me? Wow. I think I just heard a blade wisp through the air, and cut right to the heart of the issue. The trials and temptations are really invitations to go be alone with Jesus. It's great to have people who are like family, or a brother/sister in arms who will battle life with you. But none of those people, can even come close to matching Jesus.
I am afraid of writing this blog. The last time I wrote, some really pressing things occurred immediately afterwards. But I'm going to write this anyway, because I believe Ralph Waldo Emerson is right when he says, "Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain." I am experiencing growth pains as I follow the Lord. Please pray for me. I have not arrived, and I still think that God is absolutely crazy for thinking that I'm qualified to change tires, let alone, share the Gospel. Pride is something I need to guard against. The only thing I can take pride in is Jesus death on the cross for me. I have nothing, and I am nothing...without Jesus.
God bless us all, and let's take the opportunity that we have to spend time with the One who "sticks closer than a brother".
"From the end of the earth I will cry out to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed within me;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Ps 61:2
Anyway, this isn't about smelly dumpsters, trash, or fecal matter, this is about a need that we all have as humans to spill our guts to close friends, family, or others we trust. We all need a place to vent. Like the Greek figure Atlas, we need to let go of the heavy burden of the world on our shoulders. Although the need is valid, sometimes our course of action to address that need is not. There are recent events that, ouch hallelujah, are causing me to enact "endurance" and "patience" in my life. In fact, not too long ago, I was trying to reach some of my closest friends, and counselors a.k.a my C.O.M. (Counsel of Many, see Proverbs) to discuss and even pray about things going on in my life. For some reason, I could not get a hold of anyone. I didn't realize that sometimes "You don't need to run to the phone. You need to run to the throne." I wanted so badly to just put it all out there, and have someone else be understanding, and empathetic to my issues. But that's just the point, there is Someone who knows exactly what's going on, and can make things right again. I really was not wanting to do that, and was running around the house like a chicken with my head cut off, when my sister stopped me. She asked me what was up, and although I still didn't get a chance to release, she prayed for me. Afterwards she said, "Jes, maybe you need to just put it all on Jesus?" Once again, not something I wanted to hear, but I knew it was exactly what I was supposed to do.
There is always a shoulder to lean on. There is always a place let go, when I "give it to the Lord in prayer." Man, is that hard to do sometimes. My dad once told me, "We're supposed to buddy up with the Lord, but sometimes it's nice to have someone in flesh and blood." If you're one of the C.O.M., and you know who you are, I'm not mad, I'm blessed. There are some things that are so deep, so personal, so gut wrenching, that they only belong between me and the Lord. There is a great and abiding peace, laying all matters before Him, and trusting that He will work it all out.
Over the course of three weeks, three different verses have lined up in perfect logical order.
"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small."
-Proverbs 24:10
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
-Proverbs 17:17
"A man who has friends must show himself friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
-Proverbs 18:24
Is the pattern evident? Even if it is, please read the verses again slowly. When adversity comes, it's good to have a brother/friend. But it doesn't rise and fall there, because there is still someone greater than a good friend.
Alright, so here's me pretending to be the reader. Well, I see Jesse's got some logic with adversity. I follow that. But what point is he making with the whole brother/friend vs. greater than good friend?
My point is this, there is another level of closeness that goes beyond friendship, and family. This is generally reserved for spouses.
Pretend..."I think Jesse is on crack. That verse about sticking closer than a brother is obviously about Jesus, and I'm going to stop reading this already."
Please wait, and don't miss this. Yes, it is Jesus. We are His Bride. He is our Heavenly husband. That's the point I'm making. Why would I want to dump on my friends and family, when I can dump on Jesus? I mean, this is convicting. Do I think that He can't take it? Or even worse, do I think He won't do anything to help me? Wow. I think I just heard a blade wisp through the air, and cut right to the heart of the issue. The trials and temptations are really invitations to go be alone with Jesus. It's great to have people who are like family, or a brother/sister in arms who will battle life with you. But none of those people, can even come close to matching Jesus.
I am afraid of writing this blog. The last time I wrote, some really pressing things occurred immediately afterwards. But I'm going to write this anyway, because I believe Ralph Waldo Emerson is right when he says, "Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain." I am experiencing growth pains as I follow the Lord. Please pray for me. I have not arrived, and I still think that God is absolutely crazy for thinking that I'm qualified to change tires, let alone, share the Gospel. Pride is something I need to guard against. The only thing I can take pride in is Jesus death on the cross for me. I have nothing, and I am nothing...without Jesus.
God bless us all, and let's take the opportunity that we have to spend time with the One who "sticks closer than a brother".
"From the end of the earth I will cry out to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed within me;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Ps 61:2
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
endurance
"1. The fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way."-Oxford American Dictionaries
Not to be too dramatic, but I've definitely been learning what endurance means lately. I'm amazed that I managed to pass my Math class this semester, especially since it was the third attempt. I was able to spend more time on my studies than hanging out with friends during this time, and I think that had a positive correlation with my grades.
Right now, I'm sitting in the reality of being just one semester away from my A.A. degree. Just two more classes and it's all over. I'm taking the summer off from school, since it doesn't look like I have any financial aid coming. Also, I've decided to give music lessons while looking for gainful employment. That way I'm still using all my resources and not just hoping that doors will open.
"Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance.."
-Hebrews 10:35-36
I read this the other day, and I see these things as connected. If you have confidence, then you endurance. If you have endurace, then you have confidence. I think of endure as "push through". We need to "hang on" to confidence, and we need to "push through" difficulty.
"...so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:"
-Hebrews 10:36
It's not about blind confidence, there has to be something that tests that confidence. If I'm running in a race, and I decide to cheat by cutting corners, taking car rides, and such, will I make it to the finish line? Sure. Will I be confident? Of course. But will I be awarded with a prize? No, I'll be disqualified.
Why? Because I didn't run all the way, I didn't compete fairly and openly, and I didn't learn how to "push through".
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."
-2 Corinthians 9:24
I'm learning that if I opt out of some situations, I may be pushing away, instead of pushing through. Before I left Canada, I was just so refreshed and wanted so badly to stay there, but as I was reading the Word the Lord told me to go back home and finish my degree. Now that I'm home I want so badly to go, and the Lord tells me again from His Word to stay and finish.
This was the verse that jumped out at me.
"However, if you say, 'We will not stay in this land,' and so disobey the LORD your God, and if you say, 'No, we will go and live in Egypt, where we will not see war or hear the trumpet or be hungry for bread,' then hear the word of the LORD, O remnant of Judah. This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: 'If you are determined to go to Egypt and you do go to settle there, then the sword you fear will overtake you there, and the famine you dread will follow you into Egypt, and there you will die."-Jeremiah 41:13-16
I think it's interesting how the things the remnant of Judah was trying to avoid, were the exact same things that would nail them later on in Egypt. If you read verses 9-12, you'll see that God wants to work character and obedience in them despite all the circumstances around them. He also promises to love them, and have compassion on their situation. But the people so quickly "push away" God, rather than "push through" with God.
I wish I could say that I'm better than the remnant. I've made both good and bad choices over the past few years, but I keep coming back and asking God to help me push through. God is so good. He really is the leading authority on the subject.
God bless you, and may we all "run the race with endurance" and "in such a way as to win the prize."
"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus"
-Romans 15:5
Not to be too dramatic, but I've definitely been learning what endurance means lately. I'm amazed that I managed to pass my Math class this semester, especially since it was the third attempt. I was able to spend more time on my studies than hanging out with friends during this time, and I think that had a positive correlation with my grades.
Right now, I'm sitting in the reality of being just one semester away from my A.A. degree. Just two more classes and it's all over. I'm taking the summer off from school, since it doesn't look like I have any financial aid coming. Also, I've decided to give music lessons while looking for gainful employment. That way I'm still using all my resources and not just hoping that doors will open.
"Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance.."
-Hebrews 10:35-36
I read this the other day, and I see these things as connected. If you have confidence, then you endurance. If you have endurace, then you have confidence. I think of endure as "push through". We need to "hang on" to confidence, and we need to "push through" difficulty.
"...so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:"
-Hebrews 10:36
It's not about blind confidence, there has to be something that tests that confidence. If I'm running in a race, and I decide to cheat by cutting corners, taking car rides, and such, will I make it to the finish line? Sure. Will I be confident? Of course. But will I be awarded with a prize? No, I'll be disqualified.
Why? Because I didn't run all the way, I didn't compete fairly and openly, and I didn't learn how to "push through".
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."
-2 Corinthians 9:24
I'm learning that if I opt out of some situations, I may be pushing away, instead of pushing through. Before I left Canada, I was just so refreshed and wanted so badly to stay there, but as I was reading the Word the Lord told me to go back home and finish my degree. Now that I'm home I want so badly to go, and the Lord tells me again from His Word to stay and finish.
This was the verse that jumped out at me.
"However, if you say, 'We will not stay in this land,' and so disobey the LORD your God, and if you say, 'No, we will go and live in Egypt, where we will not see war or hear the trumpet or be hungry for bread,' then hear the word of the LORD, O remnant of Judah. This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: 'If you are determined to go to Egypt and you do go to settle there, then the sword you fear will overtake you there, and the famine you dread will follow you into Egypt, and there you will die."-Jeremiah 41:13-16
I think it's interesting how the things the remnant of Judah was trying to avoid, were the exact same things that would nail them later on in Egypt. If you read verses 9-12, you'll see that God wants to work character and obedience in them despite all the circumstances around them. He also promises to love them, and have compassion on their situation. But the people so quickly "push away" God, rather than "push through" with God.
I wish I could say that I'm better than the remnant. I've made both good and bad choices over the past few years, but I keep coming back and asking God to help me push through. God is so good. He really is the leading authority on the subject.
God bless you, and may we all "run the race with endurance" and "in such a way as to win the prize."
"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus"
-Romans 15:5
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