Sigh. Although, I passed my Math class, without a "B", I'm required to take the Math section of the "College Level Academic Skills Test". It could be worse. I could have to take the last Math class this semester all over again. That's definitely not happening. It's literally a "Christmas miracle" that I even passed at all. I literally had to fight for every inch of that class, and it still wasn't enough. In fairness, I did miss three assignments, which cost me the fifty points I needed for a "B". However, it just seems wrong that, only ".5" of my G.P.A. is holding me back from my printed degree.
My Math may be fuzzy, but this is what I did. A "C" is "2.0", and I earned two of them in both my classes. So, I added them together for the sum of "4.0" and divided them by "2" to get the average for my cumulative G.P.A. of "2.0" in Mathematics. I needed "2.5" to seal the deal.
I wish I could say that it didn't affect me during the graduation ceremony, but that's untrue. I kept having to tell myself that these last courses, are not an accurate indicator of the work I've done over the whole of my degree. I've worked very hard, and overcome a lot of fears, and circumstances beyond my control.
In regards, to this final test, I like to use the quote from the movie "Princess Bride".
"A technicality that shall be shortly remedied."
That's really what this last test is. Just a formality that needs attention.
I am a college graduate. Period. The fact of the matter is that no other classes need to be taken.
I recently received a plaque that I'll have to implement from now on.
"Courage isn't always a lion's roar. It is sometimes the heart at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.' "
Monday, December 22, 2008
Am I dreaming?
That's the only thought I had in my head last Saturday, as I'm waiting in line to receive recognition of my A.A. degree (and all the hard work I put into it this year). Everything was just so good. I kept thinking that someone was going to pinch me, and I'd wake up. Seeing my friends and family wave at me, I felt like an athlete about to receive a medal. Here I am, at the end of the race. Taking everything in, and amazed at being able to catch my breath.
I was so nervous when I walked on stage. I should have been more assured of myself, because I think my pics came out pretty rough. I look shaky, and afraid of doing something wrong. At least, the one where I shake hands with the professor looks decent. Oh, well. My parents took pictures beforehand. If nothing else, those snaps should be good.
Two things were more encouraging than anything else during the ceremony. An encouragement that the composer Handel worked night and day during rough times in the economy. It was during this time that he wrote "Messiah", which has one of the most well known choral pieces "Hallelujah Chorus". Dr. Kutler said,"You never know. You might be one chair away from the next Handel." Handel is one of my favorite composers, for a little known work called "Te Dettingen Deum". I listened to it, while reading "The Arts and the Bible" by Francis Schaeffer. For those of us who are creative, it's very cool. The second thing was a poll to see who took the longest to earn their degree. I thought five years was pretty long for someone like me to finish an A.A. However, one student had taken twenty-five years to finish his degree. Everyone has to operate on their own timetable I guess.
At the end of the stage, each student shakes hands with Dr. Kutler (college president). All of the sudden, a memory came rushing to mind. A year and a half ago, I was going to make a "sales pitch" to get SPC a network on facebook, just like the other major universities (i.e. USF, FSU,etc). The meeting never took place. By the time I got to Gibbs campus that day, I had just missed him. However, I did meet with the vice president of S.G.A., and showed him my hip powerpoint, that even had a movie clip from "The Two Towers" with it. I think I also used the quote, "What we have here, is a failure to communicate." This was back in the day, when I really wanted to see Student Activities on campus flourish. I wanted to use every available resource to invite people to bible studies, and even anti-spiritual activities like sports, or movies. So, yes I did have my own agenda, but I figured Christians should be the ones setting the trends for the rest of world, not the other way around.
In any case, that memory faded, and I reached to shake his hand with a cautious smile, and Dr. Kutler told me,"Be careful that you don't trip." This was not exactly what I expected to hear, but seeing the pictures, it makes more sense now, than it did at the time. A friend congratulated me earlier last week, and jokingly told me not to trip on stage as well. I was wondering if they both planned a conspiracy to make me fall on my face, or if I have "clutz" written on my forehead.
I've never had a formal graduation until this past weekend. I earned a G.E.D. eight years ago, and celebrated at home. Words can't describe the feeling of joy and accomplishment in finishing something like this. It seemed to good to be true.
All in all, it was a great day to finally relax. I enjoyed talking to friends I haven't seen in what seems like years now. Even though my family came as far as Alabama to come see me, they have no idea how much it meant for me to see them there. That's not a dig against any family member, or friend, who couldn't make it. No one is in the doghouse. I think one of my greatest strengths is being aware of the present. I'm grateful for graduating, and for both friends and family helping me make it through. If all the people who helped me get to where I am today where present, their would not be enough room for them all. There were several people who were there in spirit and crowding out the place.
Praise God! Time to move on to something else, like a job.
I was so nervous when I walked on stage. I should have been more assured of myself, because I think my pics came out pretty rough. I look shaky, and afraid of doing something wrong. At least, the one where I shake hands with the professor looks decent. Oh, well. My parents took pictures beforehand. If nothing else, those snaps should be good.
Two things were more encouraging than anything else during the ceremony. An encouragement that the composer Handel worked night and day during rough times in the economy. It was during this time that he wrote "Messiah", which has one of the most well known choral pieces "Hallelujah Chorus". Dr. Kutler said,"You never know. You might be one chair away from the next Handel." Handel is one of my favorite composers, for a little known work called "Te Dettingen Deum". I listened to it, while reading "The Arts and the Bible" by Francis Schaeffer. For those of us who are creative, it's very cool. The second thing was a poll to see who took the longest to earn their degree. I thought five years was pretty long for someone like me to finish an A.A. However, one student had taken twenty-five years to finish his degree. Everyone has to operate on their own timetable I guess.
At the end of the stage, each student shakes hands with Dr. Kutler (college president). All of the sudden, a memory came rushing to mind. A year and a half ago, I was going to make a "sales pitch" to get SPC a network on facebook, just like the other major universities (i.e. USF, FSU,etc). The meeting never took place. By the time I got to Gibbs campus that day, I had just missed him. However, I did meet with the vice president of S.G.A., and showed him my hip powerpoint, that even had a movie clip from "The Two Towers" with it. I think I also used the quote, "What we have here, is a failure to communicate." This was back in the day, when I really wanted to see Student Activities on campus flourish. I wanted to use every available resource to invite people to bible studies, and even anti-spiritual activities like sports, or movies. So, yes I did have my own agenda, but I figured Christians should be the ones setting the trends for the rest of world, not the other way around.
In any case, that memory faded, and I reached to shake his hand with a cautious smile, and Dr. Kutler told me,"Be careful that you don't trip." This was not exactly what I expected to hear, but seeing the pictures, it makes more sense now, than it did at the time. A friend congratulated me earlier last week, and jokingly told me not to trip on stage as well. I was wondering if they both planned a conspiracy to make me fall on my face, or if I have "clutz" written on my forehead.
I've never had a formal graduation until this past weekend. I earned a G.E.D. eight years ago, and celebrated at home. Words can't describe the feeling of joy and accomplishment in finishing something like this. It seemed to good to be true.
All in all, it was a great day to finally relax. I enjoyed talking to friends I haven't seen in what seems like years now. Even though my family came as far as Alabama to come see me, they have no idea how much it meant for me to see them there. That's not a dig against any family member, or friend, who couldn't make it. No one is in the doghouse. I think one of my greatest strengths is being aware of the present. I'm grateful for graduating, and for both friends and family helping me make it through. If all the people who helped me get to where I am today where present, their would not be enough room for them all. There were several people who were there in spirit and crowding out the place.
Praise God! Time to move on to something else, like a job.
A quick glance
In one of many visits to Starbucks, an older gentlemen shared some advice with me and my friends in Canada.
"You can glance at the past. Just don't stare."
In this past year, I've done the following things in no particular order;
Finished all the classes I needed for my A.A. degree.
Worked on a Christian T.V. show as a helper/grip, amateur boom operator, and even a quick spot as an extra.
Recorded my first single in a small recording studio.
Helped serve and feed the poor in downtown St. Pete (to celebrate my best friend's birthday, no less).
Led worship for youth group, and a few times for regular service at my church.
Taught a few guitar lessons at two different churches during the summer.
Moved boxes, furniture, and other items to help a friend with his moving business to pay for tuition (I still have dreams of the move that was nothing but boxes).
Ate at the original "Country Pizza Inn" in Clearwater and even got to see the owner from across the room at the restuarant.
Met a few Christians who've worked in different positions in the media industry and listened to their stories/advice.
Helped a friend move to Alaska, and got in a car accident (Also, stated the obvious when I said, "That guy really made a big impression").
Got M.R.I.'s, and x-rays that showed herniated discs in my neck, and a bulging disc in my lower back.
Did physical therapy, electrical therapy, massage therapy, the roller table, chiropractic correction, and, my all time favorite with no sarcasm, decompression to help with chronic pain in my neck and back.
I had two different procedures done to remove a growth on my pinky. It was very painful, the first time, because I had two novices working on me instead of a real dermatologist. I'm still not sure what caused this.
Performed as an actor/video editor in a student film called "Eijopani" directed by my best friend, and also starring another friend.
Said "No" to a variety of social settings, activities, and even good things, so they wouldn't conflict with my classes.
Tried my luck as a stand-up comedian one time at the coffeehouse on campus, and bombed big time (I think I'll leave all the comedic stuff to my older brothers).
Also, took "Drawing" and enjoyed trying something different.
Prayed a couple of times this past semester with other students for God to receive glory, students to shine brightly, and the Gospel to be spread.
Prayed a few times for God to help me finish this degree, and for "the way out" when tempted to give up.
Learned how to stretch my body, mind, and soul to lengths I didn't think were possible.
Made new friends at a different church, and found a place to serve and be served there.
Went to "Lee Roy Selmon's" for the first time and ate barbeque buffalo chicken tortilla's with sour cream.
Met with pastors a few times, and other good godly men for counsel, prayer, and accountability (food, too).
Went with the youth group to watch a Christian battle of the bands in St. Pete where a group called "39 Stripes" gave a great performance, despite the fact that we were the only ones there to hear them, instead of the thousands of students they were promised as the headline band. There was also a group whose lead singer had a voice that can only be described as "Scooby-Do" swallowing the "Cookie Monster". They get props for giving away a free cd though. One of the all guy bands, forgot to buy pants that fit, and made me question whether they knew their audience.
At Calvary St. Pete, I attended the youth conference "Absolute '08" were Phil Wickham led worship live, and my brother Andy gave a message among other pastors like Pedro Garcia. It was really cool.
Was a "crew leader" in my old church's V.B.S. program this past summer and had a great time as a Deputy with his buckaroo's.
Hung out with believers to fellowship at various places/times.
Made it to Ottawa for a quick visit at the Men's Conference and enjoyed the worship, prayer, and messages during the conference, and, especially, Sunday's service.
Visited Full Sail University and took their backstage "film" tour with my best friend.
Hired a lawyer.
Tried very hard to be consistent in my relationship with God and others.
Went to my first graduation ceremony, and was a nervous wreck.
Took several long walks when frustrated, angry, or in pain, to ask God to help me "take every thought captive that comes against the knowledge of Christ".
Learned that any theory, or worldview that has no room for God in it, is absolutely hopeless. Like an unsolved equation, it has no solutions.
Learning that faith has less to do with what I know, or can do, and more to do with just trusting God at His Word by moving my feet like in belief that there's something to step on.
Out of a list of 7 short term goals for this year, I completed four of them (I'm sure to get a merit badge now).
Went to a rare event where all the entire Falleur family was accounted for. Brothers with wives and kids, cousins with spouses, Grandparents, my Aunt, my sister, and even others whom I'm not sure how they're related, but glad they came. I think the total was something like 42 people in all. Thanksgiving was definitely on a large scale this year.
"You can glance at the past. Just don't stare."
In this past year, I've done the following things in no particular order;
Finished all the classes I needed for my A.A. degree.
Worked on a Christian T.V. show as a helper/grip, amateur boom operator, and even a quick spot as an extra.
Recorded my first single in a small recording studio.
Helped serve and feed the poor in downtown St. Pete (to celebrate my best friend's birthday, no less).
Led worship for youth group, and a few times for regular service at my church.
Taught a few guitar lessons at two different churches during the summer.
Moved boxes, furniture, and other items to help a friend with his moving business to pay for tuition (I still have dreams of the move that was nothing but boxes).
Ate at the original "Country Pizza Inn" in Clearwater and even got to see the owner from across the room at the restuarant.
Met a few Christians who've worked in different positions in the media industry and listened to their stories/advice.
Helped a friend move to Alaska, and got in a car accident (Also, stated the obvious when I said, "That guy really made a big impression").
Got M.R.I.'s, and x-rays that showed herniated discs in my neck, and a bulging disc in my lower back.
Did physical therapy, electrical therapy, massage therapy, the roller table, chiropractic correction, and, my all time favorite with no sarcasm, decompression to help with chronic pain in my neck and back.
I had two different procedures done to remove a growth on my pinky. It was very painful, the first time, because I had two novices working on me instead of a real dermatologist. I'm still not sure what caused this.
Performed as an actor/video editor in a student film called "Eijopani" directed by my best friend, and also starring another friend.
Said "No" to a variety of social settings, activities, and even good things, so they wouldn't conflict with my classes.
Tried my luck as a stand-up comedian one time at the coffeehouse on campus, and bombed big time (I think I'll leave all the comedic stuff to my older brothers).
Also, took "Drawing" and enjoyed trying something different.
Prayed a couple of times this past semester with other students for God to receive glory, students to shine brightly, and the Gospel to be spread.
Prayed a few times for God to help me finish this degree, and for "the way out" when tempted to give up.
Learned how to stretch my body, mind, and soul to lengths I didn't think were possible.
Made new friends at a different church, and found a place to serve and be served there.
Went to "Lee Roy Selmon's" for the first time and ate barbeque buffalo chicken tortilla's with sour cream.
Met with pastors a few times, and other good godly men for counsel, prayer, and accountability (food, too).
Went with the youth group to watch a Christian battle of the bands in St. Pete where a group called "39 Stripes" gave a great performance, despite the fact that we were the only ones there to hear them, instead of the thousands of students they were promised as the headline band. There was also a group whose lead singer had a voice that can only be described as "Scooby-Do" swallowing the "Cookie Monster". They get props for giving away a free cd though. One of the all guy bands, forgot to buy pants that fit, and made me question whether they knew their audience.
At Calvary St. Pete, I attended the youth conference "Absolute '08" were Phil Wickham led worship live, and my brother Andy gave a message among other pastors like Pedro Garcia. It was really cool.
Was a "crew leader" in my old church's V.B.S. program this past summer and had a great time as a Deputy with his buckaroo's.
Hung out with believers to fellowship at various places/times.
Made it to Ottawa for a quick visit at the Men's Conference and enjoyed the worship, prayer, and messages during the conference, and, especially, Sunday's service.
Visited Full Sail University and took their backstage "film" tour with my best friend.
Hired a lawyer.
Tried very hard to be consistent in my relationship with God and others.
Went to my first graduation ceremony, and was a nervous wreck.
Took several long walks when frustrated, angry, or in pain, to ask God to help me "take every thought captive that comes against the knowledge of Christ".
Learned that any theory, or worldview that has no room for God in it, is absolutely hopeless. Like an unsolved equation, it has no solutions.
Learning that faith has less to do with what I know, or can do, and more to do with just trusting God at His Word by moving my feet like in belief that there's something to step on.
Out of a list of 7 short term goals for this year, I completed four of them (I'm sure to get a merit badge now).
Went to a rare event where all the entire Falleur family was accounted for. Brothers with wives and kids, cousins with spouses, Grandparents, my Aunt, my sister, and even others whom I'm not sure how they're related, but glad they came. I think the total was something like 42 people in all. Thanksgiving was definitely on a large scale this year.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Captain Obvious
"...He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is not truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar, and the father of all lies."
John 8:43
A new thought occurred to me as I read this verse yesterday. Satan tries to murder truth. In fact, he's already tried and failed to murder truth. Jesus said he was the truth. Satan filled Judas Iscariot on that fateful evening, resulting in Jesus crucifixion and death. However, three days later Jesus resurrected from the dead. In Satan's twisted mind, he actually thinks he can win. See that's what happens when your "native tongue" is lies. You start believing them yourself. The truth remains consistent and resilient through everything. That's the nature of God. If there's a section of Scripture that's my all time favorite. It's the following:
"This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself."
II Timothy 2:13
Those last two lines say it all. "He remains faithful. He cannot deny Himself."
God is not contingent on us, we are contingent on Him.
"Truth crushed to the earth, shall rise again."
-William Cullen Bryant
"Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever."
I Chronicles 16:34
John 8:43
A new thought occurred to me as I read this verse yesterday. Satan tries to murder truth. In fact, he's already tried and failed to murder truth. Jesus said he was the truth. Satan filled Judas Iscariot on that fateful evening, resulting in Jesus crucifixion and death. However, three days later Jesus resurrected from the dead. In Satan's twisted mind, he actually thinks he can win. See that's what happens when your "native tongue" is lies. You start believing them yourself. The truth remains consistent and resilient through everything. That's the nature of God. If there's a section of Scripture that's my all time favorite. It's the following:
"This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself."
II Timothy 2:13
Those last two lines say it all. "He remains faithful. He cannot deny Himself."
God is not contingent on us, we are contingent on Him.
"Truth crushed to the earth, shall rise again."
-William Cullen Bryant
"Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever."
I Chronicles 16:34
Friday, August 15, 2008
More Endurance
Another good definition for endurance, is like holding a heavy object over your head. At the same time, a hot iron is pressed against your arm and you choose to withstand the pain, so that you'll be marked. It's not so much about the marking, as it is the choice to hang on, when you want to give up.
I was reading an ad in a fitness magazine at the chiropractor's office, that had a brick wall behind a finely chiseled body builder. He explains that the wall behind him was built brick by brick. That several hours of planning, and hard work went into making that building. He used this as an illustration of his own muscles and talks about all the training that you don't see. The sweat and tears that went into his strength training. The foods that he avoided, so that he could achieve that ideal athletic form.
Recently, at church, my pastor shared a story about these guys, who were trying to move a boulder in front of their gate. It was so heavy, they couldn't move it. But each day, they kept pushing against the large rock again and again. Eventually, one day the kingdom was attacked, but these men found out something. Although, they couldn't move the boulder, they learned how to be strong from pushing against it and were able to defend themselves against attack. "Don't miss the lesson from the boulder."
I just found out this past week, from an MRI, that I have two herniated discs in my neck. I may have permanent injuries for the rest of my life. Still, it can be corrected slowly by my chiropractor (Yes, and the Lord too), and I can have some serious relief. I will be seeking out my "counsel of many", as well as some legal counsel as to whether I should seek medical compensation for my whiplash injury from the car accident a few months ago. I will definitely be praying about it first. But these things add on to the weights I'm already facing this semester. I've saved the hardest classes for last (Math and Science). I may sound incorrigible, but there are some tough challenges awaiting me.
Still, I was thinking about this video I was watching on godtube.com: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8616c1559ab4221b3910
These people carry cardboard signs, and pretty much share what they were before, and after coming to Christ. I noticed that although people went through very tough situations like divorce, and even terrible diseases like cancer, it brought them closer to God and his plan of restoration. Is it possible to praise God for painful, or even trying times in our lives? Look at this verse:
"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth."
Ps 34:1
"...and I vow to praise You,
through the good and the bad,
I'll praise you whether happy or sad,
I'll praise You, with all that I go through,
because praise is what I do,
because I owe it all to You."
-"Praise is what I do" by The William Murphy Project
"Consider him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls."-Hebrews 12:3
I don't think that learning endurance is something I can put on my "to do list" and mark off. It's something I will continually be learning throughout my life. I think this is also true about my relationship with God. There's no point in this life, short of the rapture, where I will understand everything about God as completely as He is complete. I guess that's why us Christian's call this relationship a "walk with God." We all have to keep walking with Him, even if it is through places we would rather not go.
Keep loving Jesus, and others, no matter what. That's the attitude we should be striving for.
"But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:5-8
I was reading an ad in a fitness magazine at the chiropractor's office, that had a brick wall behind a finely chiseled body builder. He explains that the wall behind him was built brick by brick. That several hours of planning, and hard work went into making that building. He used this as an illustration of his own muscles and talks about all the training that you don't see. The sweat and tears that went into his strength training. The foods that he avoided, so that he could achieve that ideal athletic form.
Recently, at church, my pastor shared a story about these guys, who were trying to move a boulder in front of their gate. It was so heavy, they couldn't move it. But each day, they kept pushing against the large rock again and again. Eventually, one day the kingdom was attacked, but these men found out something. Although, they couldn't move the boulder, they learned how to be strong from pushing against it and were able to defend themselves against attack. "Don't miss the lesson from the boulder."
I just found out this past week, from an MRI, that I have two herniated discs in my neck. I may have permanent injuries for the rest of my life. Still, it can be corrected slowly by my chiropractor (Yes, and the Lord too), and I can have some serious relief. I will be seeking out my "counsel of many", as well as some legal counsel as to whether I should seek medical compensation for my whiplash injury from the car accident a few months ago. I will definitely be praying about it first. But these things add on to the weights I'm already facing this semester. I've saved the hardest classes for last (Math and Science). I may sound incorrigible, but there are some tough challenges awaiting me.
Still, I was thinking about this video I was watching on godtube.com: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8616c1559ab4221b3910
These people carry cardboard signs, and pretty much share what they were before, and after coming to Christ. I noticed that although people went through very tough situations like divorce, and even terrible diseases like cancer, it brought them closer to God and his plan of restoration. Is it possible to praise God for painful, or even trying times in our lives? Look at this verse:
"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth."
Ps 34:1
"...and I vow to praise You,
through the good and the bad,
I'll praise you whether happy or sad,
I'll praise You, with all that I go through,
because praise is what I do,
because I owe it all to You."
-"Praise is what I do" by The William Murphy Project
"Consider him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls."-Hebrews 12:3
I don't think that learning endurance is something I can put on my "to do list" and mark off. It's something I will continually be learning throughout my life. I think this is also true about my relationship with God. There's no point in this life, short of the rapture, where I will understand everything about God as completely as He is complete. I guess that's why us Christian's call this relationship a "walk with God." We all have to keep walking with Him, even if it is through places we would rather not go.
Keep loving Jesus, and others, no matter what. That's the attitude we should be striving for.
"But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:5-8
Convicting Songs
I've been listening to some songs lately, that really hit me in the chest and either tell me to repent, or help me remember God's heart for the poor.
Check them out, and let me know what you think.
"Go Outside" by Robbie Seay Band
"Woe to You" by Matt Papa
"Tears from the Saints" by Leeland
Check them out, and let me know what you think.
"Go Outside" by Robbie Seay Band
"Woe to You" by Matt Papa
"Tears from the Saints" by Leeland
Friday, July 25, 2008
Increased Visibility
I've been thinking of blogging with video. I'll still type out what I'm thinking, but I'll try to include a video version. So that I can be seen and heard as well. Sometimes things are best communicated this way. The only problem is that it's a lot more time consuming to record video, on top of typing, than going without. So, I may only do it a few times, and see how it goes from there. In any case, the idea is not so that I can puff myself up, but to provide a better grasp of what I'm trying to say. I was thinking the other day about that verse that reads,
"Where there is no vision, the people perish..."
Prov 29:18
So what would the reciprocal of that verse look like? Well, without vision there's death. So, with vision there has to be life. Now what does that have to do with anything? Well, I'm convinced when people are dropping like flies, it might be because there is no strong vision in their lives. I want to use everything I have to glorify God, even something as trivial as a blog. I'm thinking that I can help restore vision by broadcasting truth in "high definition". The words on this screen can not give you the tone that a human voice can. Lately, I'm being filled to the brim with things that must be shared. This is not about me. Like Jeremiah, it's about getting rid of the fire that is trapped inside my bones.
Fire creates light. Light enters through the iris and creates vision. You can't see without light. Therefore, you cannot see without fire, or an iris. Passion creates perspective. Perspective enters through the soul and creates truth. Fire is to passion as light is to perspective, and also vision is to truth. Basically, I've just outlined the three parts of the soul. The definition of a soul I use, is from a seminar by Bill Gothard called "Basic Youth Conflict."
"The soul is one's mind, will, and emotions."
I want to break this down further, so that no one will be confused. Mind, meaning thought processes, will, meaning drive or perhaps ambition, and emotions, meaning one's response to inner and outer stimuli.
All of this was inspired from reading the Gospel of John this morning in the very first chapter. Check it out.
"The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it."
John 1:5 NLV
Just a quick skim through that chapter will show that John is pointing to Jesus as being the light (John 1:1-17). Now, this may not sound profound at first, but it's true. Jesus is the vision. Your heart longs to love Him. Your mind was created to think about Him. Your greatest ambition is to give your life completely over to Him. To me the best way to illustrate all this is very simple. Strike a match. Light a candle. What do you have? Something much better than a lit match, or a lifeless candle right? So, that tiny spark, now climbs on top of a candle, and that candle can now be used to make things much easier to see. Now check this out.
"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5
All or nothing. That's what I see when I read this verse. Also, when I take a close look at how Jesus responds to people who approach him about becoming a disciple in the Gospels it's the same. To follow Jesus really is all or nothing. There's no half-sies. Notice the verse above does not read "You shall love the Lord your God with some of your heart, with a piece of your soul, and with what's left of your strength. No, it's with everything. Now, what does that have to do with the match and the candle? Jesus is the light, right? So, light is simple and evident, correct? For instance, a small child would be able to tell the difference between light, and darkness. So without light how can you see? Light has to pass through the lens of your iris in order to see with your eyes as mentioned earlier. Jesus is the light of the world. He's the light that goes on, and never goes out. Verses in the bible are like tiny pixels on this computer screen. They seem small all by themselves, but multiply them together and certain things that are fuzzy at first become clearer. Read enough chapters, and one starts to see the details fuse into the bigger picture. That bigger picture is Jesus. That's what this whole Christianity thing is supposed to be about. It's about Jesus. I worry about the Church here in North America. There's so much here to distract, confuse, discourage, stress, depress, cloud, dilute, and sugar coat us from a real blessing. It's about Jesus. Why should I be kind to that person, and tell him about the Lord, when they're cruel? It's about Jesus. If I stood up to others and said what I thought, they would laugh at my conviction. It's about Jesus. No, it's about Jesus. I know that I'm beating a dead horse, but I'm trying to make a point. I'm guilty of shoving away my cross too. Maybe if I say it this way, it will really hit home.
It's not about the following:
Your life
Your family
Your money, property, and stuff
Giving money to the poor
Your food
Your body
Your clothes
If I were a better scholar, I could probably list more. This list is derived from a series of things I've observed that Jesus has said in the Gospels and a book I've been reading called "Christ for Real" by Charles W. Price.
"If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple."
Luke 14:26
This is Jesus response to the rich young ruler.
"Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me."
Mark 10:21
This is Jesus rebuking Judas Iscariot who really cared more about money than giving it away to the poor.
"For you have the poor with you always, and whenever you wish you may do them good; but Me you do not have always."
Mark 14:7
Here Jesus is talking about worrying about material things.
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?"
Matthew 6:25
Now, I can't just leave it all like that. I need to do some explaining. If you haven't noticed, not all things listed there are bad, or evil. For instance, I hope that no one who's reading this thinks they need to join the nudist colony. Heavens no! No, that would be an incorrect interpretation and application of that verse. Same as deciding not to eat anything, or letting go of your body to where things are getting quite unhealthy. See, it's not so much about what to do, or not do. It's about priorities. I mean, that list pretty much covers everything doesn't it? So, what's the main priority? It seems to be about Jesus. Even a good thing, is not necessarily a God thing. What do I mean? Helping the poor is great. I highly recommend it. You would have to accuse me of taking stupid pills if I said otherwise. God has an awesome heart towards the poor. Once again, however, it's about priorities. Jesus has to be first even above your own life, and family. Talk about a challenge. That's huge. That's why the world doesn't understand Jesus, or people who are following Him. The world asks "Why would you throw a perfectly good life away?"
A Christian would respond, "I'm not throwing it away, I've already given it away. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Without Christ, you have everything to lose, and nothing to gain. Why would you hold onto a crummy short lived life, with no hope or future?" It's about Jesus. That's what life is about. Do you want to know the meaning of life? Get in touch with the Author and Finisher of our faith. His name is Jesus.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish..."
Prov 29:18
So what would the reciprocal of that verse look like? Well, without vision there's death. So, with vision there has to be life. Now what does that have to do with anything? Well, I'm convinced when people are dropping like flies, it might be because there is no strong vision in their lives. I want to use everything I have to glorify God, even something as trivial as a blog. I'm thinking that I can help restore vision by broadcasting truth in "high definition". The words on this screen can not give you the tone that a human voice can. Lately, I'm being filled to the brim with things that must be shared. This is not about me. Like Jeremiah, it's about getting rid of the fire that is trapped inside my bones.
Fire creates light. Light enters through the iris and creates vision. You can't see without light. Therefore, you cannot see without fire, or an iris. Passion creates perspective. Perspective enters through the soul and creates truth. Fire is to passion as light is to perspective, and also vision is to truth. Basically, I've just outlined the three parts of the soul. The definition of a soul I use, is from a seminar by Bill Gothard called "Basic Youth Conflict."
"The soul is one's mind, will, and emotions."
I want to break this down further, so that no one will be confused. Mind, meaning thought processes, will, meaning drive or perhaps ambition, and emotions, meaning one's response to inner and outer stimuli.
All of this was inspired from reading the Gospel of John this morning in the very first chapter. Check it out.
"The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it."
John 1:5 NLV
Just a quick skim through that chapter will show that John is pointing to Jesus as being the light (John 1:1-17). Now, this may not sound profound at first, but it's true. Jesus is the vision. Your heart longs to love Him. Your mind was created to think about Him. Your greatest ambition is to give your life completely over to Him. To me the best way to illustrate all this is very simple. Strike a match. Light a candle. What do you have? Something much better than a lit match, or a lifeless candle right? So, that tiny spark, now climbs on top of a candle, and that candle can now be used to make things much easier to see. Now check this out.
"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5
All or nothing. That's what I see when I read this verse. Also, when I take a close look at how Jesus responds to people who approach him about becoming a disciple in the Gospels it's the same. To follow Jesus really is all or nothing. There's no half-sies. Notice the verse above does not read "You shall love the Lord your God with some of your heart, with a piece of your soul, and with what's left of your strength. No, it's with everything. Now, what does that have to do with the match and the candle? Jesus is the light, right? So, light is simple and evident, correct? For instance, a small child would be able to tell the difference between light, and darkness. So without light how can you see? Light has to pass through the lens of your iris in order to see with your eyes as mentioned earlier. Jesus is the light of the world. He's the light that goes on, and never goes out. Verses in the bible are like tiny pixels on this computer screen. They seem small all by themselves, but multiply them together and certain things that are fuzzy at first become clearer. Read enough chapters, and one starts to see the details fuse into the bigger picture. That bigger picture is Jesus. That's what this whole Christianity thing is supposed to be about. It's about Jesus. I worry about the Church here in North America. There's so much here to distract, confuse, discourage, stress, depress, cloud, dilute, and sugar coat us from a real blessing. It's about Jesus. Why should I be kind to that person, and tell him about the Lord, when they're cruel? It's about Jesus. If I stood up to others and said what I thought, they would laugh at my conviction. It's about Jesus. No, it's about Jesus. I know that I'm beating a dead horse, but I'm trying to make a point. I'm guilty of shoving away my cross too. Maybe if I say it this way, it will really hit home.
It's not about the following:
Your life
Your family
Your money, property, and stuff
Giving money to the poor
Your food
Your body
Your clothes
If I were a better scholar, I could probably list more. This list is derived from a series of things I've observed that Jesus has said in the Gospels and a book I've been reading called "Christ for Real" by Charles W. Price.
"If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple."
Luke 14:26
This is Jesus response to the rich young ruler.
"Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me."
Mark 10:21
This is Jesus rebuking Judas Iscariot who really cared more about money than giving it away to the poor.
"For you have the poor with you always, and whenever you wish you may do them good; but Me you do not have always."
Mark 14:7
Here Jesus is talking about worrying about material things.
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?"
Matthew 6:25
Now, I can't just leave it all like that. I need to do some explaining. If you haven't noticed, not all things listed there are bad, or evil. For instance, I hope that no one who's reading this thinks they need to join the nudist colony. Heavens no! No, that would be an incorrect interpretation and application of that verse. Same as deciding not to eat anything, or letting go of your body to where things are getting quite unhealthy. See, it's not so much about what to do, or not do. It's about priorities. I mean, that list pretty much covers everything doesn't it? So, what's the main priority? It seems to be about Jesus. Even a good thing, is not necessarily a God thing. What do I mean? Helping the poor is great. I highly recommend it. You would have to accuse me of taking stupid pills if I said otherwise. God has an awesome heart towards the poor. Once again, however, it's about priorities. Jesus has to be first even above your own life, and family. Talk about a challenge. That's huge. That's why the world doesn't understand Jesus, or people who are following Him. The world asks "Why would you throw a perfectly good life away?"
A Christian would respond, "I'm not throwing it away, I've already given it away. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Without Christ, you have everything to lose, and nothing to gain. Why would you hold onto a crummy short lived life, with no hope or future?" It's about Jesus. That's what life is about. Do you want to know the meaning of life? Get in touch with the Author and Finisher of our faith. His name is Jesus.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Ugly truth
Picture it.
The sand carried by the arid heat at your back.
Your eyes look around, until you see the object right in front of you.
They start from below scanning until you reach the top.
In a matter of seconds, you put hands over your eyes and look away.
The smell of urine, and sweat fills the air around you.
Slowly, your eyes open with all the courage that you can muster,
and then you clasp your hands over your mouth in shock.
You’ve always known that blood would be a part of this scene,
but that’s not what really gets to you.
It’s his face.
He doesn’t have one.
It’s been violently ripped and now hangs in the breeze.
His own mother would have a hard time placing him.
A mass of hair and skin is all that remains.
Blood drips down what’s left of his nose.
His body hangs there on that cross like a rag doll.
His olive skin is cracked, broken…and bludgeoned.
This man is in such pain, that you’re knees give way beneath you.
He’s so weak.
The rhythm of his breathing is getting shorter and shorter,
as if he’s drowning in his own blood.
You can hear his raspy voice.
He struggles to say a few words.
Your eyes start to well with tears.
His body has been sliced to ribbons.
Pressure, pain, and agony are all His to bear.
Through crooked teeth, he speaks in Hebrew.
The audible language is unfamiliar to your ears,
but the language in action is clear.
It’s love.
Tears stream down your face,
as you shake your head.
This is no stain glass window.
This isn’t a marble statue.
It’s not a painting in oil, and pastels.
This is something horrible and violent.
This is something soul stirring, and shocking.
It is the ugly truth.
Can you see it?
The sand carried by the arid heat at your back.
Your eyes look around, until you see the object right in front of you.
They start from below scanning until you reach the top.
In a matter of seconds, you put hands over your eyes and look away.
The smell of urine, and sweat fills the air around you.
Slowly, your eyes open with all the courage that you can muster,
and then you clasp your hands over your mouth in shock.
You’ve always known that blood would be a part of this scene,
but that’s not what really gets to you.
It’s his face.
He doesn’t have one.
It’s been violently ripped and now hangs in the breeze.
His own mother would have a hard time placing him.
A mass of hair and skin is all that remains.
Blood drips down what’s left of his nose.
His body hangs there on that cross like a rag doll.
His olive skin is cracked, broken…and bludgeoned.
This man is in such pain, that you’re knees give way beneath you.
He’s so weak.
The rhythm of his breathing is getting shorter and shorter,
as if he’s drowning in his own blood.
You can hear his raspy voice.
He struggles to say a few words.
Your eyes start to well with tears.
His body has been sliced to ribbons.
Pressure, pain, and agony are all His to bear.
Through crooked teeth, he speaks in Hebrew.
The audible language is unfamiliar to your ears,
but the language in action is clear.
It’s love.
Tears stream down your face,
as you shake your head.
This is no stain glass window.
This isn’t a marble statue.
It’s not a painting in oil, and pastels.
This is something horrible and violent.
This is something soul stirring, and shocking.
It is the ugly truth.
Can you see it?
Nuclear Fusion
I think God gave me an idea, but maybe it was to inspire others to be creative and lead a small group bible study. I don't know. In any case, let me know what you think of it. If you were to talk about something, it would probably go like this
-jes
I have a deep desire for God’s Word, and to see myself and others grow in the Word, worship, prayer, and fellowship. I have a few ideas for things we might consider doing.
1. Select a name for the group.
I like the name “nuclear fusion” because of John 17:20-23 and Phil 2:1-11.
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."-John 17:20-23
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."-Phil 2:1-11
The connection that Jesus has with the Father God is absolutely perfect. In fact, it almost sounds like perfection squared. This is a major factor of Grace. To me, the very first bomb that was dropped was not Ivy Mike, it was Jesus Christ. When He came back to life after being dead three days in a tomb, everything changed. In Scripture, we read of dead holy people coming back to life after His resurrection (Matt 27:52). The magnitude of that spiritual tremor sent shockwaves throughout the world. In the book of Acts, His disciples could not stop speaking about the Gospel despite being beaten and jailed (Acts 1-3) In the Gospel of John, we find our place in the story as the fallout from that point of explosion. Why else would time have changed forever, since Jesus came to earth, died, and came back to life. Philipians 2 also brings that strong unity in Jesus to light, and gives us a clear example to follow.
“a nuclear fusion in which atomic nuclei of low atomic number fuse to form a heavier nucleus with the release of energy.” Another definition I like that I found from one of my textbooks on oceanography regarding the make up of the stars as “…a process that liberates energy.”
We are free. Jesus has bought us freedom. We are free. This applies everywhere to everyone. Jesus is the truth. The truth is eternal. Therefore, the truth of Jesus is everlasting.
2. Choose the method of research
a. Perhaps a dvd that leads us into deeper study of God’s Word.
For example, “Following in the Dust of the Rabbi.”
b. An inductive study of the Word that is an open forum discussion using pens and pencils to mark things down during the study.
c. The Acts 2uesday method. Break bread, fellowship, pray, break into groups (2-4 people) with one scribe, and one spokesman. The scribe writes down questions,and comments from each small group. The Spokesman reads these comments publicly before all the groups.
d. Serving the homeless and poor through an established ministry like "Volunteer Way", or __________ and/or reading God’s Word to see what’s written about the rich and the poor. The book of Proverbs, and James are both good places to start.
Monday, May 26, 2008
The Cost of Honesty (part 1)
We are broken, so that we'll stay open. If we are closed, then we are indisposed.
This goes right along with the other blog "No dumping", and has also been on my heart lately. I really don't even know where to start. When we say, in Christian circles, "I am broken", we're really saying a mouthful, in those three little words;
"I am a sinner."
"I sin."
"I live in world that glorifies sin."
"God is deeply touching my heart, pointing out the sin within, and asking me to walk away from it."
"In spite of how wicked I am, God is so good, and I'm crying because I can't handle it,"etc.
There is more that could be said, but (thanks to the English language) one word can have several definitions. Usually, brokenness entails; conviction of sin, submission to God, and/or an awareness of sin. Chances are that we've sung, read, or even heard someone mention this idea of being broken. But like the sentence at the beginning, that's really only half of the bigger idea.
We are broken, so that we'll stay open.
It stands to reason, that if someone has broken their arms, AND their legs, they are really in no place to close off from the world. In fact, they need people MORE now then they did before. The simplest things as going to the bathroom, or changing a t.v. channel, is completely up to the kindness of others. So, how does this relate to sin, God, and our lives? Imagine that you are handicapped for life. I'm sure it's harder for some than others. Although there is probably some measure of independence, there is an almost certainty that accommodations will be necessary in order to suit your needs. Your life is filled with a keen awareness of your condition and the need for other people. The fact is, whether we're handicapped or not, we all need people in our lives. I'm using this as an example to contrast and compare physical properties with spiritual ones. We have a desperate need for God. It's possible to know how much we need people physically around us;however, I don't think we know the extent of the spiritual damage of sin and how only God can bring wholeness.
Soapbox Warning!!!!!
Now, I have a loaded sawed off shotgun (figurative people not literal) that I'm about to use on an idea that just needs to die. The fact that we have a need for God as broken sinners DOES NOT make us less of a person. The reason someone goes to kneel at the front of the aisle is to lay it all out before God. Is there a person on this planet that this does not apply to? Is there a magic wand that just helps us skip through James chapter 1? I don't think so. The word is very clear in 1 John 1:8,
"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."
Climbing back down two feet...
There is a beautiful release in emptying the contents of your heart and mind before God. In fact, it is highly recommended by five out of five doctors (Dr. David, Dr. John, Dr. Paul, Dr. James and Dr. Jesus) Psalms 32:5, 1 John 1:9, Rom 10:9, James 5:16, and Matt 5:17. Seriously, why is this open face something undesired in the modern church? There is freedom in surrender. I love how one brother said that, "What we try to hide, God uncovers. What we uncover, God covers." Is it apparent how being open and broken go hand in hand? There is nothing to hide, when Jesus is your covering.
We are broken, so that we'll stay open. I think of the verse that shows how tender God made Paul's heart to the Corinthians.
"O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open."
2 Corinthians 6:11-13
I don't think Paul is belittling the Corinthians. I think he is filled to the brim with compassion, and godly frustration. It's almost like a father who is fed up with excuses from a distant child and says "Spit it out!" "What's going on?"
I know this is long, and I'm going to talk about "closed and indisposed" in a part two. How can we communicate, if we are only using pretense and not truth? There are different levels to whom we trust and share our deepest selves. I am aware that the cost of honesty is one's pride, but intimacy is impossible without honesty. I'm talking about love not sex. If we are honest with God, why is it a challenge to be honest with each other? I'm not suggesting that we should "air our laundry" outside. That's not wise
(see "No dumping?" blog).
I''m suggesting we trade our rags for riches and exchange our defective lives, for eternal youth. When things are right with God, chances are, that things are also right with the world again. Is the freedom evident? Am I making myself clear? I don't know where I heard this, but an honest man has nothing to be afraid of. If God is charge, then He is really the only One I should be afraid of, especially if He is just, righteous, and holy! If I've made things right with God, than I'm in the clear. It's already out there in the open. It's not hanging over my head anymore. It's gone. And if anyone says anything to dilute the work of the Spirit, I can just give it to the Lord, and He will deal with the problem. I'm only responsible for my own actions. I can't control other people. I'm going to choose to let Jesus reign over my life, and pray that others will do the same.
I've said this before, and I will say it again, I am not perfect. Only God is perfect. I have not arrived. I hold this verse to my heart, because it means so much to me.
"Not that I have attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me."
-Phil 3:12
I don't have Jesus. Jesus has me. I didn't look for Him. He looked for me. I'm not my own man. I've been bought with a price. Jesus is the biggest part of this relationship. He's the One who has me completely. But do I have Him completely? Not yet, but one day I will.
I sincerely believe that brokenness and openness is a process. For those who are Christians, it started the day they decided to become a disciple of Jesus Christ, but it was not to supposed to end there. I love how my brother Andy phrases it as "a surrendered life". Our cross is to be shouldered daily. It's very easy to forget the Jesus was split wide open just for us. His fleshly body was broken. Blood dripped down as he was cut open. Several places on his body were brutally broken. His own mother didn't recognize his face. He was open and He was broken. That is our call. We are to follow in His footsteps, and die, so that we can come back to life again.
"Widsom is supreme; therefore, get wisdom. Though it cost all you have get understanding."
-Proverbs 4:7
This goes right along with the other blog "No dumping", and has also been on my heart lately. I really don't even know where to start. When we say, in Christian circles, "I am broken", we're really saying a mouthful, in those three little words;
"I am a sinner."
"I sin."
"I live in world that glorifies sin."
"God is deeply touching my heart, pointing out the sin within, and asking me to walk away from it."
"In spite of how wicked I am, God is so good, and I'm crying because I can't handle it,"etc.
There is more that could be said, but (thanks to the English language) one word can have several definitions. Usually, brokenness entails; conviction of sin, submission to God, and/or an awareness of sin. Chances are that we've sung, read, or even heard someone mention this idea of being broken. But like the sentence at the beginning, that's really only half of the bigger idea.
We are broken, so that we'll stay open.
It stands to reason, that if someone has broken their arms, AND their legs, they are really in no place to close off from the world. In fact, they need people MORE now then they did before. The simplest things as going to the bathroom, or changing a t.v. channel, is completely up to the kindness of others. So, how does this relate to sin, God, and our lives? Imagine that you are handicapped for life. I'm sure it's harder for some than others. Although there is probably some measure of independence, there is an almost certainty that accommodations will be necessary in order to suit your needs. Your life is filled with a keen awareness of your condition and the need for other people. The fact is, whether we're handicapped or not, we all need people in our lives. I'm using this as an example to contrast and compare physical properties with spiritual ones. We have a desperate need for God. It's possible to know how much we need people physically around us;however, I don't think we know the extent of the spiritual damage of sin and how only God can bring wholeness.
Soapbox Warning!!!!!
Now, I have a loaded sawed off shotgun (figurative people not literal) that I'm about to use on an idea that just needs to die. The fact that we have a need for God as broken sinners DOES NOT make us less of a person. The reason someone goes to kneel at the front of the aisle is to lay it all out before God. Is there a person on this planet that this does not apply to? Is there a magic wand that just helps us skip through James chapter 1? I don't think so. The word is very clear in 1 John 1:8,
"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."
Climbing back down two feet...
There is a beautiful release in emptying the contents of your heart and mind before God. In fact, it is highly recommended by five out of five doctors (Dr. David, Dr. John, Dr. Paul, Dr. James and Dr. Jesus) Psalms 32:5, 1 John 1:9, Rom 10:9, James 5:16, and Matt 5:17. Seriously, why is this open face something undesired in the modern church? There is freedom in surrender. I love how one brother said that, "What we try to hide, God uncovers. What we uncover, God covers." Is it apparent how being open and broken go hand in hand? There is nothing to hide, when Jesus is your covering.
We are broken, so that we'll stay open. I think of the verse that shows how tender God made Paul's heart to the Corinthians.
"O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open."
2 Corinthians 6:11-13
I don't think Paul is belittling the Corinthians. I think he is filled to the brim with compassion, and godly frustration. It's almost like a father who is fed up with excuses from a distant child and says "Spit it out!" "What's going on?"
I know this is long, and I'm going to talk about "closed and indisposed" in a part two. How can we communicate, if we are only using pretense and not truth? There are different levels to whom we trust and share our deepest selves. I am aware that the cost of honesty is one's pride, but intimacy is impossible without honesty. I'm talking about love not sex. If we are honest with God, why is it a challenge to be honest with each other? I'm not suggesting that we should "air our laundry" outside. That's not wise
(see "No dumping?" blog).
I''m suggesting we trade our rags for riches and exchange our defective lives, for eternal youth. When things are right with God, chances are, that things are also right with the world again. Is the freedom evident? Am I making myself clear? I don't know where I heard this, but an honest man has nothing to be afraid of. If God is charge, then He is really the only One I should be afraid of, especially if He is just, righteous, and holy! If I've made things right with God, than I'm in the clear. It's already out there in the open. It's not hanging over my head anymore. It's gone. And if anyone says anything to dilute the work of the Spirit, I can just give it to the Lord, and He will deal with the problem. I'm only responsible for my own actions. I can't control other people. I'm going to choose to let Jesus reign over my life, and pray that others will do the same.
I've said this before, and I will say it again, I am not perfect. Only God is perfect. I have not arrived. I hold this verse to my heart, because it means so much to me.
"Not that I have attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me."
-Phil 3:12
I don't have Jesus. Jesus has me. I didn't look for Him. He looked for me. I'm not my own man. I've been bought with a price. Jesus is the biggest part of this relationship. He's the One who has me completely. But do I have Him completely? Not yet, but one day I will.
I sincerely believe that brokenness and openness is a process. For those who are Christians, it started the day they decided to become a disciple of Jesus Christ, but it was not to supposed to end there. I love how my brother Andy phrases it as "a surrendered life". Our cross is to be shouldered daily. It's very easy to forget the Jesus was split wide open just for us. His fleshly body was broken. Blood dripped down as he was cut open. Several places on his body were brutally broken. His own mother didn't recognize his face. He was open and He was broken. That is our call. We are to follow in His footsteps, and die, so that we can come back to life again.
"Widsom is supreme; therefore, get wisdom. Though it cost all you have get understanding."
-Proverbs 4:7
No dumping?
I had a much more humorous title for this blog, but I decided to take the mature route. Yeah, I guess I'm mellowing out now that I'm in my late twenty's.
Anyway, this isn't about smelly dumpsters, trash, or fecal matter, this is about a need that we all have as humans to spill our guts to close friends, family, or others we trust. We all need a place to vent. Like the Greek figure Atlas, we need to let go of the heavy burden of the world on our shoulders. Although the need is valid, sometimes our course of action to address that need is not. There are recent events that, ouch hallelujah, are causing me to enact "endurance" and "patience" in my life. In fact, not too long ago, I was trying to reach some of my closest friends, and counselors a.k.a my C.O.M. (Counsel of Many, see Proverbs) to discuss and even pray about things going on in my life. For some reason, I could not get a hold of anyone. I didn't realize that sometimes "You don't need to run to the phone. You need to run to the throne." I wanted so badly to just put it all out there, and have someone else be understanding, and empathetic to my issues. But that's just the point, there is Someone who knows exactly what's going on, and can make things right again. I really was not wanting to do that, and was running around the house like a chicken with my head cut off, when my sister stopped me. She asked me what was up, and although I still didn't get a chance to release, she prayed for me. Afterwards she said, "Jes, maybe you need to just put it all on Jesus?" Once again, not something I wanted to hear, but I knew it was exactly what I was supposed to do.
There is always a shoulder to lean on. There is always a place let go, when I "give it to the Lord in prayer." Man, is that hard to do sometimes. My dad once told me, "We're supposed to buddy up with the Lord, but sometimes it's nice to have someone in flesh and blood." If you're one of the C.O.M., and you know who you are, I'm not mad, I'm blessed. There are some things that are so deep, so personal, so gut wrenching, that they only belong between me and the Lord. There is a great and abiding peace, laying all matters before Him, and trusting that He will work it all out.
Over the course of three weeks, three different verses have lined up in perfect logical order.
"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small."
-Proverbs 24:10
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
-Proverbs 17:17
"A man who has friends must show himself friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
-Proverbs 18:24
Is the pattern evident? Even if it is, please read the verses again slowly. When adversity comes, it's good to have a brother/friend. But it doesn't rise and fall there, because there is still someone greater than a good friend.
Alright, so here's me pretending to be the reader. Well, I see Jesse's got some logic with adversity. I follow that. But what point is he making with the whole brother/friend vs. greater than good friend?
My point is this, there is another level of closeness that goes beyond friendship, and family. This is generally reserved for spouses.
Pretend..."I think Jesse is on crack. That verse about sticking closer than a brother is obviously about Jesus, and I'm going to stop reading this already."
Please wait, and don't miss this. Yes, it is Jesus. We are His Bride. He is our Heavenly husband. That's the point I'm making. Why would I want to dump on my friends and family, when I can dump on Jesus? I mean, this is convicting. Do I think that He can't take it? Or even worse, do I think He won't do anything to help me? Wow. I think I just heard a blade wisp through the air, and cut right to the heart of the issue. The trials and temptations are really invitations to go be alone with Jesus. It's great to have people who are like family, or a brother/sister in arms who will battle life with you. But none of those people, can even come close to matching Jesus.
I am afraid of writing this blog. The last time I wrote, some really pressing things occurred immediately afterwards. But I'm going to write this anyway, because I believe Ralph Waldo Emerson is right when he says, "Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain." I am experiencing growth pains as I follow the Lord. Please pray for me. I have not arrived, and I still think that God is absolutely crazy for thinking that I'm qualified to change tires, let alone, share the Gospel. Pride is something I need to guard against. The only thing I can take pride in is Jesus death on the cross for me. I have nothing, and I am nothing...without Jesus.
God bless us all, and let's take the opportunity that we have to spend time with the One who "sticks closer than a brother".
"From the end of the earth I will cry out to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed within me;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Ps 61:2
Anyway, this isn't about smelly dumpsters, trash, or fecal matter, this is about a need that we all have as humans to spill our guts to close friends, family, or others we trust. We all need a place to vent. Like the Greek figure Atlas, we need to let go of the heavy burden of the world on our shoulders. Although the need is valid, sometimes our course of action to address that need is not. There are recent events that, ouch hallelujah, are causing me to enact "endurance" and "patience" in my life. In fact, not too long ago, I was trying to reach some of my closest friends, and counselors a.k.a my C.O.M. (Counsel of Many, see Proverbs) to discuss and even pray about things going on in my life. For some reason, I could not get a hold of anyone. I didn't realize that sometimes "You don't need to run to the phone. You need to run to the throne." I wanted so badly to just put it all out there, and have someone else be understanding, and empathetic to my issues. But that's just the point, there is Someone who knows exactly what's going on, and can make things right again. I really was not wanting to do that, and was running around the house like a chicken with my head cut off, when my sister stopped me. She asked me what was up, and although I still didn't get a chance to release, she prayed for me. Afterwards she said, "Jes, maybe you need to just put it all on Jesus?" Once again, not something I wanted to hear, but I knew it was exactly what I was supposed to do.
There is always a shoulder to lean on. There is always a place let go, when I "give it to the Lord in prayer." Man, is that hard to do sometimes. My dad once told me, "We're supposed to buddy up with the Lord, but sometimes it's nice to have someone in flesh and blood." If you're one of the C.O.M., and you know who you are, I'm not mad, I'm blessed. There are some things that are so deep, so personal, so gut wrenching, that they only belong between me and the Lord. There is a great and abiding peace, laying all matters before Him, and trusting that He will work it all out.
Over the course of three weeks, three different verses have lined up in perfect logical order.
"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small."
-Proverbs 24:10
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
-Proverbs 17:17
"A man who has friends must show himself friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
-Proverbs 18:24
Is the pattern evident? Even if it is, please read the verses again slowly. When adversity comes, it's good to have a brother/friend. But it doesn't rise and fall there, because there is still someone greater than a good friend.
Alright, so here's me pretending to be the reader. Well, I see Jesse's got some logic with adversity. I follow that. But what point is he making with the whole brother/friend vs. greater than good friend?
My point is this, there is another level of closeness that goes beyond friendship, and family. This is generally reserved for spouses.
Pretend..."I think Jesse is on crack. That verse about sticking closer than a brother is obviously about Jesus, and I'm going to stop reading this already."
Please wait, and don't miss this. Yes, it is Jesus. We are His Bride. He is our Heavenly husband. That's the point I'm making. Why would I want to dump on my friends and family, when I can dump on Jesus? I mean, this is convicting. Do I think that He can't take it? Or even worse, do I think He won't do anything to help me? Wow. I think I just heard a blade wisp through the air, and cut right to the heart of the issue. The trials and temptations are really invitations to go be alone with Jesus. It's great to have people who are like family, or a brother/sister in arms who will battle life with you. But none of those people, can even come close to matching Jesus.
I am afraid of writing this blog. The last time I wrote, some really pressing things occurred immediately afterwards. But I'm going to write this anyway, because I believe Ralph Waldo Emerson is right when he says, "Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain." I am experiencing growth pains as I follow the Lord. Please pray for me. I have not arrived, and I still think that God is absolutely crazy for thinking that I'm qualified to change tires, let alone, share the Gospel. Pride is something I need to guard against. The only thing I can take pride in is Jesus death on the cross for me. I have nothing, and I am nothing...without Jesus.
God bless us all, and let's take the opportunity that we have to spend time with the One who "sticks closer than a brother".
"From the end of the earth I will cry out to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed within me;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Ps 61:2
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
endurance
"1. The fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way."-Oxford American Dictionaries
Not to be too dramatic, but I've definitely been learning what endurance means lately. I'm amazed that I managed to pass my Math class this semester, especially since it was the third attempt. I was able to spend more time on my studies than hanging out with friends during this time, and I think that had a positive correlation with my grades.
Right now, I'm sitting in the reality of being just one semester away from my A.A. degree. Just two more classes and it's all over. I'm taking the summer off from school, since it doesn't look like I have any financial aid coming. Also, I've decided to give music lessons while looking for gainful employment. That way I'm still using all my resources and not just hoping that doors will open.
"Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance.."
-Hebrews 10:35-36
I read this the other day, and I see these things as connected. If you have confidence, then you endurance. If you have endurace, then you have confidence. I think of endure as "push through". We need to "hang on" to confidence, and we need to "push through" difficulty.
"...so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:"
-Hebrews 10:36
It's not about blind confidence, there has to be something that tests that confidence. If I'm running in a race, and I decide to cheat by cutting corners, taking car rides, and such, will I make it to the finish line? Sure. Will I be confident? Of course. But will I be awarded with a prize? No, I'll be disqualified.
Why? Because I didn't run all the way, I didn't compete fairly and openly, and I didn't learn how to "push through".
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."
-2 Corinthians 9:24
I'm learning that if I opt out of some situations, I may be pushing away, instead of pushing through. Before I left Canada, I was just so refreshed and wanted so badly to stay there, but as I was reading the Word the Lord told me to go back home and finish my degree. Now that I'm home I want so badly to go, and the Lord tells me again from His Word to stay and finish.
This was the verse that jumped out at me.
"However, if you say, 'We will not stay in this land,' and so disobey the LORD your God, and if you say, 'No, we will go and live in Egypt, where we will not see war or hear the trumpet or be hungry for bread,' then hear the word of the LORD, O remnant of Judah. This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: 'If you are determined to go to Egypt and you do go to settle there, then the sword you fear will overtake you there, and the famine you dread will follow you into Egypt, and there you will die."-Jeremiah 41:13-16
I think it's interesting how the things the remnant of Judah was trying to avoid, were the exact same things that would nail them later on in Egypt. If you read verses 9-12, you'll see that God wants to work character and obedience in them despite all the circumstances around them. He also promises to love them, and have compassion on their situation. But the people so quickly "push away" God, rather than "push through" with God.
I wish I could say that I'm better than the remnant. I've made both good and bad choices over the past few years, but I keep coming back and asking God to help me push through. God is so good. He really is the leading authority on the subject.
God bless you, and may we all "run the race with endurance" and "in such a way as to win the prize."
"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus"
-Romans 15:5
Not to be too dramatic, but I've definitely been learning what endurance means lately. I'm amazed that I managed to pass my Math class this semester, especially since it was the third attempt. I was able to spend more time on my studies than hanging out with friends during this time, and I think that had a positive correlation with my grades.
Right now, I'm sitting in the reality of being just one semester away from my A.A. degree. Just two more classes and it's all over. I'm taking the summer off from school, since it doesn't look like I have any financial aid coming. Also, I've decided to give music lessons while looking for gainful employment. That way I'm still using all my resources and not just hoping that doors will open.
"Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance.."
-Hebrews 10:35-36
I read this the other day, and I see these things as connected. If you have confidence, then you endurance. If you have endurace, then you have confidence. I think of endure as "push through". We need to "hang on" to confidence, and we need to "push through" difficulty.
"...so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:"
-Hebrews 10:36
It's not about blind confidence, there has to be something that tests that confidence. If I'm running in a race, and I decide to cheat by cutting corners, taking car rides, and such, will I make it to the finish line? Sure. Will I be confident? Of course. But will I be awarded with a prize? No, I'll be disqualified.
Why? Because I didn't run all the way, I didn't compete fairly and openly, and I didn't learn how to "push through".
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."
-2 Corinthians 9:24
I'm learning that if I opt out of some situations, I may be pushing away, instead of pushing through. Before I left Canada, I was just so refreshed and wanted so badly to stay there, but as I was reading the Word the Lord told me to go back home and finish my degree. Now that I'm home I want so badly to go, and the Lord tells me again from His Word to stay and finish.
This was the verse that jumped out at me.
"However, if you say, 'We will not stay in this land,' and so disobey the LORD your God, and if you say, 'No, we will go and live in Egypt, where we will not see war or hear the trumpet or be hungry for bread,' then hear the word of the LORD, O remnant of Judah. This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: 'If you are determined to go to Egypt and you do go to settle there, then the sword you fear will overtake you there, and the famine you dread will follow you into Egypt, and there you will die."-Jeremiah 41:13-16
I think it's interesting how the things the remnant of Judah was trying to avoid, were the exact same things that would nail them later on in Egypt. If you read verses 9-12, you'll see that God wants to work character and obedience in them despite all the circumstances around them. He also promises to love them, and have compassion on their situation. But the people so quickly "push away" God, rather than "push through" with God.
I wish I could say that I'm better than the remnant. I've made both good and bad choices over the past few years, but I keep coming back and asking God to help me push through. God is so good. He really is the leading authority on the subject.
God bless you, and may we all "run the race with endurance" and "in such a way as to win the prize."
"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus"
-Romans 15:5
Friday, April 11, 2008
Love and truth
For the last few days, I've been thinking about things that aren't mutually exclusive, and yes, I have been studying Math lately. One of those ideas is that truth and love can not be separated. If I love people in my life, then I'll tell them the truth. If the truth (Jesus) is in me, then I can't help but love others. Then, thinking logically, what's outside of love and truth? Hate and lies is the only answer that seems to make sense. This would explain why many of us are hateful, and deceived. We all have most likely met people who fall into the following categories.
Category A:
Truth without love.
Some people can be as ruthless as a prosecuting attorney, ripping someone apart with the truth, rather than being gentle as Scripture tells us to teach (II Tim 2:24).
Category B:
Love without truth.
On the other extreme, are people who are so into "feeling good" that they forget the charge to literally thrive in God's Word (Col 3:16). I used that specific verse, because emotion is still expressed, but it's done so because of truth. We're grateful to God for all that He's done.
That is of course, if we know, what He has done. If we don't know, there's probably a reason for that. It's not enough to say that famous sinner's prayer, it's a life that is completely given over to Jesus. The best way to say this is if it's starts with faith, doesn't it also continue with faith? I still remember giving my life to Jesus when I was twelve, but it's that same child like faith that will carry with me for the rest of my life (Col 2:6). However, if I only hold onto that prayer from childhood, how will that work for an adult who needs Jesus? So, even if I know, I still need to be reminded.
So, after I've been thinking about this for a few days, I found a really cool verse today.
"and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved." II Thess 2:10
And when I did a search on biblegateway.com , I found these verses too.
"Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart." I Peter 1:22
"Grace, mercy, and peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love." II John 1:3
Category A:
Truth without love.
Some people can be as ruthless as a prosecuting attorney, ripping someone apart with the truth, rather than being gentle as Scripture tells us to teach (II Tim 2:24).
Category B:
Love without truth.
On the other extreme, are people who are so into "feeling good" that they forget the charge to literally thrive in God's Word (Col 3:16). I used that specific verse, because emotion is still expressed, but it's done so because of truth. We're grateful to God for all that He's done.
That is of course, if we know, what He has done. If we don't know, there's probably a reason for that. It's not enough to say that famous sinner's prayer, it's a life that is completely given over to Jesus. The best way to say this is if it's starts with faith, doesn't it also continue with faith? I still remember giving my life to Jesus when I was twelve, but it's that same child like faith that will carry with me for the rest of my life (Col 2:6). However, if I only hold onto that prayer from childhood, how will that work for an adult who needs Jesus? So, even if I know, I still need to be reminded.
So, after I've been thinking about this for a few days, I found a really cool verse today.
"and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved." II Thess 2:10
And when I did a search on biblegateway.com , I found these verses too.
"Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart." I Peter 1:22
"Grace, mercy, and peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love." II John 1:3
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
A new motivation
So I'm all psyched up about going to Full Sail (www.fullsail.com) either this Fall, or next Spring. It's good to know where you're going sometimes. It just adds a whole new dimension to what I'm doing now. It makes the incredibly tedious studies in Math and Science worth it. I'm even going to find a part time job A.S.A.P. Right now my main priority is to get a grip on all my studies, but now at least I have a goal in mind for the near future. I think the trek to Full Sail (see vid) was good for both me and Matt. We took the film program tour, and it was so awesome I think we had to slap ourselves to snap back into reality. Full Sail is the only campus in the world that has it's own back lot for different scenes (grocery store, dark alley, real estate office, etc. It was actually designed by people from Universal Studios. How crazy cool is that? Even though that was really neat, I think I'm going to stick with the recording arts because that is where my passion is. Also, after taking the film tour I got a glimpse of how much work is really involved, and I thought, uhhhhhh no thanks. I'll just submit any script ideas to my friend Matt (even if he doesn't go). We were talking about how cool it would be if we both attended at the same time. I think that was a subtle hint for, "you better take me with you, or I'll hurt you." Maybe not. Anyway, it was a new place, with new adventures, and has provided me with a new motivation. Speaking of which, I need to get to campus, and study some more about rocks. Love me some rocks. See ya.
-jes
Thursday, January 10, 2008
The Rumours are True
This is to let everybody know that I'm hoping to record a few songs on a cd in the next few months. I really don't have stars in my eyes, and even once this project is done, it's not for sale...it's free. Some of the best things I've ever gotten, I never paid for, and besides that, my action sends a clear message to people that the Gospel is free. There's no charge. Jesus paid it all. Just come and pick up a copy. If people want to give something, I'll just re-direct them to pray and/or consider giving material blessings (hint: money) to Jericho Road Ministries in Ottawa, Canada.
Yes, you heard me right, the cost will be nada. I'm debating about just doing a single, or a three song E.P. I haven't scouted the area for going rates on recording studios, but I should be able to figure that out sometime this month.
Yes, you heard me right, the cost will be nada. I'm debating about just doing a single, or a three song E.P. I haven't scouted the area for going rates on recording studios, but I should be able to figure that out sometime this month.
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