The Latest

In the past few months, God has completely changed my plans. I've decided to stay on as a worship leader for a small church in Perth called Northgate Ministries, and abandon my orginal ambition to be in the recording industry. I've chosen to go with ministry rather than industry. Why? God changed my plans. They are completely demolished. I had such big dreams of changing the entertainment world, and sharing the Gospel through media, but all that is gone.

Last month, while I was asking the Lord what He wanted me to do regarding staying on as the worship leader, and I felt God speak to my heart and say "Yes." I was dumbfounded at how fast I had received an answer, and asked the Lord for confirmation that this was His voice, and not my own. He took me to Joshua 5 where there was a man with a drawn sword, and Joshua walked up to him and said, "Are you for us, or for our enemies?" The man said, "Neither, but as Commander of the armies of Heaven, I've come to take over." God gave me further instruction saying, "This is my thing, not yours."

It was based off of those two things, what God had spoken to my heart, and also through His word, that everything hung in the balance last wednesday night. This past week I went to a Pastor's Conference in Maryland, and came back Wednesday night going through border security. I was a few days late in leaving from my 90 period, so I knew I would encounter some trouble coming into Canada again. Officers are trained to be intimidating, and pull the truth out of you. After asking me a few general questions, he told me to wait on the bench.

I sat next a young man who had a t-shirt that said "Pain and punishment". There was absolutely no way I was going to let that be his future. I started talking to him and finding out where he's from and where's he's going. I told him about how I felt called by God to lead worship, and follow Jesus, and proceeded to ask him what he thought about Jesus. He explained how he had a catholic background, and really hadn't been to church in a while. I told him about how salvation is like a present on Christmas day, you can either choose to open it, or leave it under the tree. It's your choice. I also told him that most people don't know that God not only has the power to forgive our sin, but also deliver us from the power of sin. Then my good friend Paul with the gift of evangelism, took over from there, and before I knew Dan was reading a Bible, starting with the Gospel of John. That's when I was summoned back to the front desk again.

The patrol asked why I didn't say that I was in a discipleship program at the beggining? I explained that I was shy about staying that I was going through a discipleship program, and that's why I said that I was visiting friends, and family. I proceeded to explain that my orginal intentions were to only stay for three months then go home, but my plans changed within the last month. He asked me, "Why haven't you filled out the right paper work, you had three months?" I told him, that I had looked online, and found scarce information regarding what I actually needed as a religous volunteer non-permit worker. He said that I would not be able to cross that night, and would have to return to U.S Customs, and proceeded to hand me a legal document stating that I was allowed to leave Canada. This was just killing me. I thought of thousands of times of Bible studies at the Gosse House, spontaneous worship, fasts on wednesdays, sharing the Gospel at anytime, with anybody. I thought of all the warm people in our fellowship, and the idea of never seeing any of them, or what I was a part of ever again.

I was unsure of where I would stay, or whether I would have to get a ticket back to FL. The border patrolmen was telling Paul, as the driver, that I would have to be driven back to U.S. Customs. Paul, very respectully said, that they would be more than happy to do that, but wanted to know what I would need in order to go back into Canada that night. The patrolmen showed the list of documents, and things that needed to be signed. Dan jumped in and said that he was the pastor, and would be more than happy to supply those things, and whether he could send them by email. Meanwhile, Joel jumped in and helped calm the situation by using the right words and some goverment connections,I'm not sure. So, before I know it, Dan is on the phone, then Joel, then Dan, and their talking to Amy (Dan's wife) who was trying to put 8 kids to bed and type out on offer of ministerial employment at the same time. For me, this was absolutely insane. I'm the type of guy who is more than prepared for any and all situations, and I do not like giving much to chance. It was incredibly emotional and nerve wracking. Did I really hear from God, or is this just going to blow up in my face? I waited for hours, and tried to pray for the guard. As I'm waiting, Dan asked what degree I had. I told him that I have an Associate of Arts in General Education with a minor in Music. I didn't realize how glad I would be that I got that degree!

A few hours later, all the documents made it through, Dan signed a document, I signed one, and all the other paper was in order. The result is a year long religious volunteer non-worker visa. This is indeed a miracle. When I first came to Canada in 2007, I had more paperwork, from two pastors in the States, and just one pastor in Canada, my brother, and it didn't work out at all. I breathed a sigh of relief. We waited for pizza that Paul and Joel went to go get.

On the car ride back to Canada, the words of a song came across my mind
"Just to know that my hopes rest in Your heart...Just to know that You are always with me, just to know that your promises, will STAY RIGHT HERE." (Rita Springer "Just to Know")

I was softly crying as I thought of God's faithfulness. I am living in the unknown world of faith, where I do not live by what I see, but by what I can't see. I don't know how everything is going to work out in this life, but as I learned from an illustration from Damian Kyle this past week, an elderly couple in his church had a drawing in their house that was a sillouhette of Jesus with words written underneath, "I never said it would be easy. I just said it would be worth it."

The Book that shows His face

So I'm going to delete my entire facebook account, simply because it's a major distraction and not nearly as exciting as living for Jesus in the real world. I find that facebook lends to confusion between guy and girl relationships, with situations like "Define the relationship" which is not edifying for single people trying to serve and follow Jesus. This is my own personal conviction however, and in the past I've found facebook useful for connecting with friends and college students, for the purpose of sharing the Gospel with them. So, I think that's definitely a Romans 14 issue.
However, at the present time, actually talking to people face to face, or even sending an email seems more than adequate. I will not be able to blog nearly as much as I used to. I've fallen in love with God's Word. I've never seen so clearly the face of God displayed throughout the Bible. A friend shared with me a quick devotional that talked about a copy of the Constitution that was hard to read close up, but if you move away from it, you can see the face of George Washington, the father of our country (America). When I read the Bible, I don't see history, words, syllables, or poetic imagery. I'm looking God in the face and hearing Him speak to me. There's nothing else that compares to this. I want to share more, but I need to go. There are more changes and revelations, but they'll have to wait. Take a break from facebook, and seek His face instead. You won't regret it. :)

An explanation for delays

It's hard to find a starting place today. I'm so glad that I'm finally done with my degree. Now, I only have to wait a week to apply for graduation, once again, and then I finally have my colleg diploma. I'm so glad the stress of one more test is done for now. Last week, I passed the last C.L.A.S.T. test I needed for the mathematics requirement. The next day, I went to see an Orthodontist to see if I have TMJ (temporomandibular joint disorder), which apparently I have. The same day I got my second cortisone shot, which was a bit more painful this time, than it was earlier this month. I was actually very upset, because I had plans for leaving for Canada again this past Friday. However, there are a few more doctor visits that require me to physically be here, so I won't be leaving for Canada until the first weekend of next month (February).

Right now I'm sorting through everything in my mind. A degree that's been my entire life for the past five years is over. I'm starting to get things rolling with Full Sail University and gearing up for an intense discipleship program coming up. I think I'm overdue for some reflection, and some deep counsel from God's Word. It's not to say that I can't do this here at home, but there's something different about going where there are few distractions and warm friends. This is not to say that there aren't warm friends here. It's just different.

Although things may not be difficult for someone else, an allowance of difficulty within one's own situation should be granted to that person. This past year has been a trial by fire for me. I've given up numerous opportunities to hang with old friends, stayed on course with my studies, and even have pitched in with household chores. I've applied for work several times, at a variety of different businesses, with little success. God has provided funds to pay for medical bills, and even tuition for my last semester. I've had sleepless nights were my neck felt like it was on fire, or my back would cramp up on me. It's taken me six months of physical rehab to be able to wear a backpack over my neck without having a night of stinging pain. Having endured all these things, you can imagine, that knowing that I had to take one more test a few weeks before graduation, felt like a punch in the gut. I thought I had already done enough. Despite all these obstacles, I finally made it to the other side, and there's nothing anyone can do to take it away. I watched "the Lord of the Rings" trilogy this past week, and could relate to Frodo collapsing on Mt. Doom. He's finally made it to the quests end and just wants to it all to be over with. I know that I'm being melodramatic, but things have been rough lately. I know there are others facing even worse problems right now, and I should consider myself lucky for the family and resources that I have. I guess I just wanted to give an explanation for the need to go away for awhile.

A brother once shared with me, "Between hearing a word from the Lord, you do the best you can." That's where I'm at right now. I'm doing the best I can and waiting to hear a fresh word from the Lord. The interesting thing about extreme circumstances is that they show you what you're made of, and what's really going on inside of you. I wish I could say it was all good, but there's a lot that needs to be taken out. God has been showing me some things that have been lurking way down on the bottom of my heart. The heat had to be turned up to get rid of it. That's the thing about dross, it's got to come out.

"Remove the dross from the silver, and out comes material for the silversmith;"
Proverbs 25:4

C.L.A.S.T.

Sigh. Although, I passed my Math class, without a "B", I'm required to take the Math section of the "College Level Academic Skills Test". It could be worse. I could have to take the last Math class this semester all over again. That's definitely not happening. It's literally a "Christmas miracle" that I even passed at all. I literally had to fight for every inch of that class, and it still wasn't enough. In fairness, I did miss three assignments, which cost me the fifty points I needed for a "B". However, it just seems wrong that, only ".5" of my G.P.A. is holding me back from my printed degree.

My Math may be fuzzy, but this is what I did. A "C" is "2.0", and I earned two of them in both my classes. So, I added them together for the sum of "4.0" and divided them by "2" to get the average for my cumulative G.P.A. of "2.0" in Mathematics. I needed "2.5" to seal the deal.

I wish I could say that it didn't affect me during the graduation ceremony, but that's untrue. I kept having to tell myself that these last courses, are not an accurate indicator of the work I've done over the whole of my degree. I've worked very hard, and overcome a lot of fears, and circumstances beyond my control.

In regards, to this final test, I like to use the quote from the movie "Princess Bride".
"A technicality that shall be shortly remedied."
That's really what this last test is. Just a formality that needs attention.
I am a college graduate. Period. The fact of the matter is that no other classes need to be taken.

I recently received a plaque that I'll have to implement from now on.
"Courage isn't always a lion's roar. It is sometimes the heart at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.' "

Am I dreaming?

That's the only thought I had in my head last Saturday, as I'm waiting in line to receive recognition of my A.A. degree (and all the hard work I put into it this year). Everything was just so good. I kept thinking that someone was going to pinch me, and I'd wake up. Seeing my friends and family wave at me, I felt like an athlete about to receive a medal. Here I am, at the end of the race. Taking everything in, and amazed at being able to catch my breath.

I was so nervous when I walked on stage. I should have been more assured of myself, because I think my pics came out pretty rough. I look shaky, and afraid of doing something wrong. At least, the one where I shake hands with the professor looks decent. Oh, well. My parents took pictures beforehand. If nothing else, those snaps should be good.

Two things were more encouraging than anything else during the ceremony. An encouragement that the composer Handel worked night and day during rough times in the economy. It was during this time that he wrote "Messiah", which has one of the most well known choral pieces "Hallelujah Chorus". Dr. Kutler said,"You never know. You might be one chair away from the next Handel." Handel is one of my favorite composers, for a little known work called "Te Dettingen Deum". I listened to it, while reading "The Arts and the Bible" by Francis Schaeffer. For those of us who are creative, it's very cool. The second thing was a poll to see who took the longest to earn their degree. I thought five years was pretty long for someone like me to finish an A.A. However, one student had taken twenty-five years to finish his degree. Everyone has to operate on their own timetable I guess.

At the end of the stage, each student shakes hands with Dr. Kutler (college president). All of the sudden, a memory came rushing to mind. A year and a half ago, I was going to make a "sales pitch" to get SPC a network on facebook, just like the other major universities (i.e. USF, FSU,etc). The meeting never took place. By the time I got to Gibbs campus that day, I had just missed him. However, I did meet with the vice president of S.G.A., and showed him my hip powerpoint, that even had a movie clip from "The Two Towers" with it. I think I also used the quote, "What we have here, is a failure to communicate." This was back in the day, when I really wanted to see Student Activities on campus flourish. I wanted to use every available resource to invite people to bible studies, and even anti-spiritual activities like sports, or movies. So, yes I did have my own agenda, but I figured Christians should be the ones setting the trends for the rest of world, not the other way around.

In any case, that memory faded, and I reached to shake his hand with a cautious smile, and Dr. Kutler told me,"Be careful that you don't trip." This was not exactly what I expected to hear, but seeing the pictures, it makes more sense now, than it did at the time. A friend congratulated me earlier last week, and jokingly told me not to trip on stage as well. I was wondering if they both planned a conspiracy to make me fall on my face, or if I have "clutz" written on my forehead.

I've never had a formal graduation until this past weekend. I earned a G.E.D. eight years ago, and celebrated at home. Words can't describe the feeling of joy and accomplishment in finishing something like this. It seemed to good to be true.

All in all, it was a great day to finally relax. I enjoyed talking to friends I haven't seen in what seems like years now. Even though my family came as far as Alabama to come see me, they have no idea how much it meant for me to see them there. That's not a dig against any family member, or friend, who couldn't make it. No one is in the doghouse. I think one of my greatest strengths is being aware of the present. I'm grateful for graduating, and for both friends and family helping me make it through. If all the people who helped me get to where I am today where present, their would not be enough room for them all. There were several people who were there in spirit and crowding out the place.

Praise God! Time to move on to something else, like a job.

A quick glance

In one of many visits to Starbucks, an older gentlemen shared some advice with me and my friends in Canada.

"You can glance at the past. Just don't stare."

In this past year, I've done the following things in no particular order;

Finished all the classes I needed for my A.A. degree.

Worked on a Christian T.V. show as a helper/grip, amateur boom operator, and even a quick spot as an extra.

Recorded my first single in a small recording studio.

Helped serve and feed the poor in downtown St. Pete (to celebrate my best friend's birthday, no less).

Led worship for youth group, and a few times for regular service at my church.

Taught a few guitar lessons at two different churches during the summer.

Moved boxes, furniture, and other items to help a friend with his moving business to pay for tuition (I still have dreams of the move that was nothing but boxes).

Ate at the original "Country Pizza Inn" in Clearwater and even got to see the owner from across the room at the restuarant.

Met a few Christians who've worked in different positions in the media industry and listened to their stories/advice.

Helped a friend move to Alaska, and got in a car accident (Also, stated the obvious when I said, "That guy really made a big impression").

Got M.R.I.'s, and x-rays that showed herniated discs in my neck, and a bulging disc in my lower back.

Did physical therapy, electrical therapy, massage therapy, the roller table, chiropractic correction, and, my all time favorite with no sarcasm, decompression to help with chronic pain in my neck and back.

I had two different procedures done to remove a growth on my pinky. It was very painful, the first time, because I had two novices working on me instead of a real dermatologist. I'm still not sure what caused this.

Performed as an actor/video editor in a student film called "Eijopani" directed by my best friend, and also starring another friend.

Said "No" to a variety of social settings, activities, and even good things, so they wouldn't conflict with my classes.

Tried my luck as a stand-up comedian one time at the coffeehouse on campus, and bombed big time (I think I'll leave all the comedic stuff to my older brothers).

Also, took "Drawing" and enjoyed trying something different.

Prayed a couple of times this past semester with other students for God to receive glory, students to shine brightly, and the Gospel to be spread.

Prayed a few times for God to help me finish this degree, and for "the way out" when tempted to give up.

Learned how to stretch my body, mind, and soul to lengths I didn't think were possible.

Made new friends at a different church, and found a place to serve and be served there.

Went to "Lee Roy Selmon's" for the first time and ate barbeque buffalo chicken tortilla's with sour cream.

Met with pastors a few times, and other good godly men for counsel, prayer, and accountability (food, too).

Went with the youth group to watch a Christian battle of the bands in St. Pete where a group called "39 Stripes" gave a great performance, despite the fact that we were the only ones there to hear them, instead of the thousands of students they were promised as the headline band. There was also a group whose lead singer had a voice that can only be described as "Scooby-Do" swallowing the "Cookie Monster". They get props for giving away a free cd though. One of the all guy bands, forgot to buy pants that fit, and made me question whether they knew their audience.


At Calvary St. Pete, I attended the youth conference "Absolute '08" were Phil Wickham led worship live, and my brother Andy gave a message among other pastors like Pedro Garcia. It was really cool.

Was a "crew leader" in my old church's V.B.S. program this past summer and had a great time as a Deputy with his buckaroo's.

Hung out with believers to fellowship at various places/times.

Made it to Ottawa for a quick visit at the Men's Conference and enjoyed the worship, prayer, and messages during the conference, and, especially, Sunday's service.

Visited Full Sail University and took their backstage "film" tour with my best friend.

Hired a lawyer.

Tried very hard to be consistent in my relationship with God and others.

Went to my first graduation ceremony, and was a nervous wreck.

Took several long walks when frustrated, angry, or in pain, to ask God to help me "take every thought captive that comes against the knowledge of Christ".

Learned that any theory, or worldview that has no room for God in it, is absolutely hopeless. Like an unsolved equation, it has no solutions.

Learning that faith has less to do with what I know, or can do, and more to do with just trusting God at His Word by moving my feet like in belief that there's something to step on.

Out of a list of 7 short term goals for this year, I completed four of them (I'm sure to get a merit badge now).

Went to a rare event where all the entire Falleur family was accounted for. Brothers with wives and kids, cousins with spouses, Grandparents, my Aunt, my sister, and even others whom I'm not sure how they're related, but glad they came. I think the total was something like 42 people in all. Thanksgiving was definitely on a large scale this year.

Captain Obvious

"...He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is not truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar, and the father of all lies."
John 8:43

A new thought occurred to me as I read this verse yesterday. Satan tries to murder truth. In fact, he's already tried and failed to murder truth. Jesus said he was the truth. Satan filled Judas Iscariot on that fateful evening, resulting in Jesus crucifixion and death. However, three days later Jesus resurrected from the dead. In Satan's twisted mind, he actually thinks he can win. See that's what happens when your "native tongue" is lies. You start believing them yourself. The truth remains consistent and resilient through everything. That's the nature of God. If there's a section of Scripture that's my all time favorite. It's the following:

"This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself."

II Timothy 2:13

Those last two lines say it all. "He remains faithful. He cannot deny Himself."
God is not contingent on us, we are contingent on Him.

"Truth crushed to the earth, shall rise again."
-William Cullen Bryant

"Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever."
I Chronicles 16:34